There's something about seventies glam rock I find very difficult to ignore. It's the way that, with the exception of cases like David Bowie and Br(i/y)ans Ferry and Eno, it seemed to be laughing at itself in a time of national distress. It didn't much play the serious rebel card like Lennon, Presley, or Lewis. It made a virtue out of being trash pop with leaden beats delivered by drunken men in make up. Whilst trade union strikes went on and unemployment began rising in Britain to worrying levels for the first time in years, a bunch of relatively old geezers (and it is safe to say this - most glam rockers began their careers in sixties psych bands) decided to cheer Britain up by dressing in tinsel and foil and wearing hats with mirrors on them. They looked like over-decorated trees, and verily, whilst their careers lasted it would be Christmas everyday. It was also a quintessentially British thing. Glam rock never really broke to the same degree in America, it merely got absorbed slightly into the philosophies of eighties glam or poodle rock, an entirely softer and slicker (and, in my opinion, less satisfying) beast.

Besides the Glitters, Slades, T Rexes, and Sweets of this world, however, a whole underbelly of other glam rock bands on the fringes of success toured the country. Hello were a bunch of funky schoolboys singing about New York Grooves. Earl Brutus favourites Iron Virgin were a bunch of long haired freaks who wore padlocked chastity belts around their groins and pouted. And God knows what Kenny were about, but they all met and formed whilst working in a banana warehouse, and that's enough of an interesting story for me ("The Bump" is also one of the most pointless but also the most aggravatingly persistent bubblegum records of all time).

Lieutenant Pigeon also managed to score one of the most absurd number ones of all time with "Mouldy Old Dough", essentially a song recorded by art rockers Staveley Makepeace with one member's mother on honky tonk style piano. I have three of Lieutenant Pigeon's singles at home, all picked up for very reasonable prices in junk stores, and I can assure you that by the third waxing they were really bleeding the "mother on lead piano with a glam rock beat underneath" concept dry. If anyone thought the White Stripes limited themselves, rest assured the Pigeons took it to new degrees of insanity. They should be given an award for their services to art rock, but sadly I don't think anyone else in the world shares that opinion.

So trash and disposable is seventies glam rock still considered (on the whole) that you can pick up lots of beautiful rarities in second hand stores for as little as 50p. So it is with a certain degree of pleasure that I present two such lovely items for your delight. First up are the Creme de Brulee of glam rock flopstars, Screemer. They decided to start releasing their futuristic glam excursions into outer space in 1976 just as punk broke, rendering them as culturally relevant then as Limp Bizkit are today. A shame, as they were one of the most profoundly ridiculously over the top of all the acts, and whilst I've never seen a photo of any of them, I just know they all had ridiculous fringes and wore shiny space-suits with large collars. "Interplanetary Twist" is a single that sets its glittery eyes firmly on the future, whilst sounding desperately passe. It's a contradiction on vinyl! It also sounds like a jam between members of Sweet and the Rocky Horror Show musical cast, and the vocal stylings couldn't be more over-the-top if they tried. Full marks to all concerned with this track, including Phil Wainman who produced the disc and also worked with The Sweet. He later went on to record XTC, and you could possibly argue that somewhere in the hic-coughing futuristic Milk Bar vocals here there's a small inkling of their work...

http://www.sendspace.com/file/5knxfg

I also can't finish this entry without including a Lieutenant Pigeon track. Not "Mouldy Old Dough", mind you, which was one of the biggest selling singles of the seventies (really - check the stats) but the less stellar follow-up "Desperate Dan" which attempts to repeat the trick. The croaky, sleazy male vocals on all Lieutenant Pigeon outings always make me feel as if I'm in the dirtiest pub in Walthamstow attempting to save the life of a pissed-up bearded middle aged man who is choking on his own vomit whilst trying to sing along to the jukebox. To me, it's sleazier than a hundred Nine Inch Nails records.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/ffkiq4

Excuse the pops and crackles as neither of these are necessarily in absolute mint condition, but do enjoy!!!!