If all the bloggers in the world were killed, would anyone notice?

Closedown/ Game Over/ End of Chapter 23/ Good Night/ Etc.

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 13:21:07 GMT

As I'm sure you've probably all gathered by now, there is no real reason for me to continue using this Livejournal. However, my account will remain active and I will still be reading other people's, so please do keep me on your friends list if you want me to still be involved in your blog or community.

As for my own writing, there are two options open to you:

1. http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog&friendID=173012326

This is the blog that exists on my MySpace profile, focussing mostly on poetry and writing - a lot of the content on here has been mirrored over there for the last few months, and you can expect it to continue in the same vain. Nobody will be missing out on my "fantastic" observations on these artistic areas as a result, and I may find time to do the odd personal entry as well if I'm tempted. I'm planning a jaunt to Beirut in September, and if that goes ahead I'm sure I will find plenty to say about it. Don't be too optimistic that I'l waffle on day-to-day life on there much, though.

If you don't have me on your friends list and want to add me, don't be afraid to ask. A lot of you have banned audio profiles from being added without your initial approaches, so I haven't been able to stick you on my list myself.

2. http://www.left-and-to-the-back.blogspot.com

The new place for MP3 and YouTube uploads, you fools! Please do come and visit - it was even updated today especially. I must admit I'm quite excited about the possibilities of this idea at the moment, even if most of my lj friends list doesn't seem to be. Their loss.

I feel I should also make it clear that there are no sinister reasons behind discontinuing this lj, unless boredom counts as being something sinister. I'm not trying to avoid anyone or even make any sort of political statement about lj's new owners, I just feel that four years of me wittering on about my day to day life in public is enough for one lifetime, and possibly even more than is healthy for one person. It feels as if my energies should now be directed in a more productive direction, and that's exactly what I plan to do. No more naval gazing for me. Well, not much, anyway.

If anyone wants to talk to me about what's going on in my life in the future, you know my email address. And if you don't, or need reminding, please feel free to leave a comment below. I'll see you around. And who knows, I might even reactivate this blog at some point in the future if I go travelling again or have something useful to say, but don't put any money on it.

It's here...

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 01:03:34 GMT

It's the moment you've all been waiting for... My long-promised MP3/ YouTube blog focussing on forgotten curios and obscurities is now online. It will focus on both the sublime and ridiculous moments in pop music, so you can expect to read about dire flop novelty singles of yore (I have some treats lined up, I assure you, including a country rock single about Spanish holidays) as much as you can lost gems which were wrongfully ignored.

There will also be an irregular feature on there which will involve me pulling out a charity shop or second hand shop find for everyone's delight - I would reveal my plans for the future now, but I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise or show my hand at this early stage. For openers, though, please find Bernard Manning and Ronnie Barker's failed 1970s bids to enter the Top 40, and I reckon I can easily top even that in the near future.

http://left-and-to-the-back.blogspot.com/

If you presently link to this blog from a website of your own, I would be quite grateful if you could update to the one shown above. Obviously, I'll understand if you don't want to or are not as keen on the content of the new blog as you were on this one, but it would certainly help me to get over the usual problems with generating traffic in the tricky first few months.

(*And yep, I know that two of the existing entries on there are rewritten versions of old ones on this livejournal. I don't intend to make a habit of recycling old material, but it seemed like a good way of sticking a reasonable amount of content up as quickly and as painlessly as possible so visitors could have something more than one entry to look at).

Jorge! Jorge! Jorge!

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 16:44:29 GMT

If you speak to certain people at the wheel of the great poetry juggernaut, you will often be told that poetry has "gone back into the mainstream" again, that it's now fashionable, credible, and that since Scroobius Pip climbed into the Top 40 everybody knows what to expect from the spoken word scene. Sometimes I pick up the Metro and the London Paper and read these articles and almost will myself to believe them. I'd have to try very hard, though - they're complete and total bollocks, obviously.

I don't blame anybody for trying to get the public's confidence, and it probably does much more for the cause than my brand of self-deprecating honesty, but let Uncle Dave put you right here. Poetry has been in much ruder health at other points in history. This isn't like 1968 all over again, and it isn't selling out the Royal Albert Hall. In fact, it's frequently barely selling out scruffy pub backrooms even when there are big names on the bill. That the mainstream media even want to touch the artform at the moment is a giant leap forwards in itself from the dark old days of 2005 when poetry sales hit their lowest trough since records began, but we've still got a long, long way to go before people get the recognition they deserve.

Nights like Jorge at the George Tavern in Stepney do highlight the public's general attitude towards spoken word artists as soon as the form is taken out of its safe little ghetto. Where poets and bands share the same bill, it's a war the prose warriors will never, ever win. Make no mistake, it's a tough gig, and I don't know anybody on the circuit who would ever claim otherwise apart from perhaps the most famous performers. As I take to the mic, I notice that I am greeted with a number of angry scowls in the front row before I've even opened my mouth. "Poet = wanker" their expressions seem to say. The majority of the audience talk straight through me to start with, rendering the first few minutes barely audible to most of the room.

During the third poem, however, something strange happens. The whole room shuts up, and is watching and listening to me. It's not a slight silence, either, as a few people trudge towards the bar and ask for drinks. It's total silence (with applause at the end, thankfully). This continues for long enough that I can get some snappy, simple material out which I think won't anger too many people with self-indulgence, and stays with me to the very end of the set. It still feels as if it's been a battle, but it's an absolute blessed relief that I've managed to come out on top. It's an unusual set in that I air a lot of material which I would ordinarily leave out of gigs, but I make a mental note to remember exactly what I did and how I did it for future occasions like this one. In a moment that makes me cringe immediately afterwards as soon as I sit back down, I tell the audience that they've been lovely. This is a blatant lie, obviously - they were stubborn arseholes for a worrying amount of time. I find myself meaning it as I say it, though. It's the same syndrome as when you decide you like the school psychopath for a few minutes, because they've made up their minds that they find you rather endearing and they're not going to torture you with a car battery after all. I think sometimes as human beings we tend to mix up feelings of relief with something else entirely.

I completely admire the concept of the Jorge night and think what they're doing for poetry (and indeed the gig circuit in London) is wonderful, though. Far from constantly going for obvious "big names" or people who are barely even connected to the poetry world to promote the form, they're genuinely taking risks and booking new artists as well. It often works, and many poets find themselves in similar positions to me to start with, only to win over the audience against all the odds. The bands are also frequently brilliant. On the bill on Thursday we also saw the enjoyable piano driven tunesmithery of Steve Bland, who actually managed to be anthemic with very little musical support, the distortion heavy pop angst of Thee Assasins, and finally an anarchic twelve piece band called Apples for Everyone who seemed like an exciting collision between Celtic folk, psychedelic pop, anti-folk, The Guillemots and your large drunken uncle after ten Guinnesses. What astonishes me about the present music scene is that lurking in the cracks and crevices are some bands who frankly wouldn't have been out of place on John Peel's Dandelion label circa 1972. They don't seem to get much press exposure, but they're there nonetheless, and sometimes you can turn up to events like these and feel as if the carnival has come to town. The lead singer ruins things slightly by making a few comments about performance poets which sound rather sarcastic and scathing - perhaps I misread his intentions, but nonetheless it would be a bit rich if he were indeed extracting the urine. For large scale hippy collectives to suggest that poets are a bit pretentious and ridiculous would be hypocrisy of the highest order, after all. As Dan sneered to the judge in Withnail and I: "Do you think you look normal, your honour?"

Much lower down the bill on the night was an individual called Harry Herry who I embarrassingly spoke about on mic as being "Hairy Mary" (although I still maintain that he has been billed as that at the Klinker at some point). He's another character who has to be seen to be believed - a man from Rotterdam dressed as a Dutch sailor who sings solo songs about perplexing topics such as cleaning out toilets whilst gurning, bobbing up and down, and playing his keyboard like a demented, hyperactive goon. He's been around on the circuit for many years now, and is always worth a look.

Another top night, then, and further evidence that The George Tavern may not be the neatest or smartest gig venue in London, but it's certainly one of the most daring and deserves to continue.

The Cookd and Bombd Top 1,000 Singles

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 13:21:34 GMT

A long, long time ago - or a year and a half ago to be precise - you may remember that I mentioned that the Chris Morris website Cookd and Bombd were compiling their Top 1000 Singles of all time. The way this worked was quite simple. Each forum member was to nominate several singles of their choosing with an MP3 and a review, and the final list was to be in no fixed order, just being a cluster of singles everybody felt strongly enough to nominate. The final results are enormously varied and curious. Click on "read more" to see.

1000. Girls Aloud "Biology" (2005)
999. Rush "Spirit Of Radio" (1980)
998. The Bluetones "Marblehead Johnson" (1996)
997. Boston "More Than A Feeling" (1976)
996. Missy Elliot "Get Ur Freak On" (2001)
995. Pulp "This Is Hardcore" (1998)
994. New Order "Fine Time" (1988)
993. The Associates "Party Fears Two" (1982)
992. Beyonce "Crazy In Love" (2003)
991. Primal Scream "Velocity Girl" (1986)
990. My Chemical Romance "Helena" (2005)
989. Rachel Stevens "Sweet Dreams My L.A. Ex" (2003)
988. In Aura "This Month's Epic" (1995)
987. Saint Etienne "Avenue" (1992)
986. Sister Sledge "Thinking Of You" (1984)
985. Jeff Buckley "Last Goodbye" (1995)
984. Jamelia "Superstar" (2003)
983. Drop Nineteens "Winona" (1992)
982. Madonna "Live To Tell" (1986)
981. Annie "Heartbeat" (2005)
980. Depeche Mode "Enjoy The Silence" (1990)
979. Suede "Stay Together" (1994)
978. Pop Will Eat Itself "X, Y and Zee" (1991)
977. The Slits "Typical Girls" (1979)
976. Young Marble Giants "Final Day"/ "Radio Silents" (1980)
975. The Shangri-las "I Can Never Go Home Anymore" (1965)
974. The Stranglers "Let Me Introduce You To The Family" (1981)
973. Duran Duran "The Reflex" (1984)
972. The Cure "Boys Don't Cry" (1979)
971. OMD "Genetic Engineering" (1983)
970. Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell "You're All I Need To Get By" (1968)
969. Super Furry Animals "Something 4 The Weekend" (1996)
968. The Boo Radleys "Wake Up Boo" (1995)
967. The Grid "Floatation" (1990)
966. Wire "Outdoor Miner" (1979)
965. The Hush "Grey" (1968)
964. Underworld "Dirty Epic" (1994)
963. Way Out West "Ajare" (1994)
962. Belle and Sebastian "Lazy Line Painter Jane" (1997)
961. The Justified Ancients Of Mu Mu "It's Grim Up North" (1991)
960. Bang Bang Machine "Geek Love" (1993)
959. Au Pairs "Diet"/ "It's Obvious" (1980)
958. The Hives "Hate To Say I Told You So" (2002)
957. Devo "The Day My Baby Gave Me A Surprise" (1979)
956. Cabaret Voltaire "Nag Nag Nag" (1979)
955. My Bloody Valentine "To Here Knows When" (1991)
954. Sugababes "Run For Cover" (2001)
953. The Four Tops "If I Were A Carpenter" (1968)
952. Kid Creole and The Coconuts "I'm A Wonderful Thing, Baby" (1982)
951. Mercury Rev "Opus 40" (1999)
950. The Bordellos "Arthur Lee" (2006)
949. Thirteenth Floor Elevators "Slip Inside This House" (1967)
948. New Order "The Perfect Kiss" (1985)
947. XTC "Ball And Chain" (1982)
946. The Stone Roses "Elephant Stone" (1988)
945. They Might Be Giants "Don't Let's Start" (1990)
944. The Sweet "Teenage Rampage" (1974)
943. Joao Gilberto and Stan Getz with Astrud Gilberto "The Girl From Ipanema" (1964)
942. My Latest Novel "The Reputation Of Ross Francis" (2006)
941. Public Image "Death Disco" (1979)
940. Guillemots "Trains To Brazil" (2006)
939. Ike and Tina Turner "I Can't Believe What You Say" (1964)
938. Elvis Costello and The Attractions "Oliver's Army" (1979)
937. Dinosaur Jr "Freak Scene" (1988)
936. Talking Heads "Once In A Lifetime" (1981)
935. Laurie Anderson "O Superman" (1981)
934. INXS "Need You Tonight" (1987-8)
933. Devo "Satisfaction" (1978)
932. Pere Ubu "Final Solution" (1976)
931. Talk Talk "It's My Life" (1984)
930. Dexys Midnight Runners "Come On Eileen" (1982)
929. Gladys Knight and The Pips "You Need Love Like I Do (Don't You)" (1970)
928. Al Casey with the K.C-ettes "Surfin' Hootenanny"/ "Easy Pickin'" (1964)
927. Frankie Goes To Hollywood "Two Tribes" (1984)
926. Owen Gray and Maximum Breed "Sittin' In The Park" (1969)
925. ELO "Mr Blue Sky" (1978)
924. Andy Capp "Pop A Top" (1969)
923. Lyric Born and The Poets of Rhythm "I Changed My Mind" (1999)
922. Wire "Kidney Bingos" (1988)
921. Cocteau Twins "Heaven Or Las Vegas" (1990)
920. Flaming Lips "Do You Realise??" (2003)
919. Talking Heads "This Must Be The Place (NaÃ¯ve Melody)" (1983)
918. The Archies "Sugar Sugar" (1969)
917. The Orb "Blue Room" (1992)
916. Rokysopp "Only This Moment" (2005)
915. Monty Python "Galaxy Song" (1983)
914. Oasis "Whatever" (1994)
913. Roy Orbison "In Dreams" (1963)
912. Sparks "Something For The Girl With Everything" (1975)
911. Altered Images "Happy Birthday" (1981)
910. Animals That Swim "Faded Glamour" (1996)
909. Bob Dylan "Subterranean Homesick Blues" (1965)
908. They Might Be Giants "Birdhouse In Your Soul" (1990)
907. Squeeze "Up The Junction" (1979)
906. Dusty Springfield "I Only Want To Be With You" (1963)
905. The Seeds "Pushin' Too Hard" (1966)?
904. Girls On Top "We Don't Give A Damn About Our Friends" (2001)
903. War "Why Can't We Be Friends?" (1975)
902. The Bluetones "Ifâ€¦" (1998)
901. Split Enz "Six Months In A Leaky Boat" (1982)
900. Adam Ant "Apollo 9" (1984)
899. Propaganda "Dr Mabuse" (1984)
898. The Lines "Nerve Pylon" (1980)
897. El-P "Deep Space 9mm" (2002)
896. Bjork "Hyperballad" (1996)
895. Malcolm McLaren "Madam Butterfly" (1984)
894. Eric Speandour "It Could Be Wonderful" (1965)
893. ABBA "The Name Of The Game" (1977)
892. Richard Harris "MacArthur Park" (1968)
891. Status Quo "Down Down" (1974)
890. X-Ray Spex "Highly Flammable"/ "Warrior In Woolworths" (1978)
889. Blur "To The End" (1994)
888. It's Immaterial "Driving Away From Home" (1986)
887. The Coral "Dreaming Of You" (2002)
886. Landscape "Norman Bates" (1981)
885. Stars "Your Ex-Lover Is Dead" (2005)
884. All Saints "Pure Shores" (2000)
883. Rolling Stones "We Love You" / "Dandelion" (1967)
882. Thousand Yard Stare "Weatherwatching EP" (1990)
881. D Note "Garden Of Earthly Delights (X-Press 2 remix)" (1995)
880. Fire "Father's Name Is Dad" (1968)
879. The Fuzz "I Love You For All Seasons" (1971)
878. Lush "De-luxe" (1990)
877. The Count Five "Psychotic Reaction" (1966)
876. Donna Summer "I Feel Love" (1977)
875. Whiteout "Jackie's Racing" (1995)
874. The Marmalade "I See The Rain" (1967)
873. Julie London "Cry Me A River" (1957)
872. Family "Scene Through The Eye Of A Lens" (1967)
871. Dion "Runaround Sue" (1960)
870. Swap Dogg "Sam Stone" (1972)
869. Sly Fox "Let's Go All The Way" (1986)
868. Nik Kershaw "Human Racing" (1984)
867. Cilla Black "I've Been Wrong Before" (1965)
866. The S.O.S. Band "Just Be Good To Me" (1984)
865. Mint Royale "Don't Falter" (2000)
864. Animotion "Obssession" (1985)
863. Electronic "Getting Away With It" (1989)
862. British Sea Power "Carrion"/ "Apologies To Insect Life" (2003)
861. Meatloaf "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" (1978)
860. Crass "Big A, Little A, Bouncing B" (1981)
859. Aretha Franklin "Think" (1968)
858. Todd Rundgren "I Saw The Light" (1972)
857. Sonic Youth "Kool Thing" (1990)
856. Prefab Sprout "Faron Young" (1985)
855. Grace Jones "Slave To The Rhythm" (1985)
854. De La Soul "Eye Know" (1989)
853. World Of Twist "Sweets" (1991)
852. Paul McCartney "Coming Up" (1980)
851. Jane Wiedlin "Rush Hour" (1988)
850. Felt "Primitive Painters" (1985)
849. Blonde On Blonde "Castles In The Sky" (1969)
848. New Order "True Faith" (1987)
847. Barenaked Ladies "If I Had $1,000,000"
846. The Calico Wall "I'm A Living Sickness" (1967)
845. Faithless "Insomnia" (1996)
844. Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers "You Got Lucky" (1982)
843. Mansun "I Can Only Disappoint U" (2000)
842. Dionne Warwick "Heartbreaker" (1982)
841. Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds Featuring Kylie Minogue "Where The Wild Roses Grow" (1995)
840. Kraftwerk "Computer Love"/ "The Model" (1981)
839. Heebeegeebees "Meaningless Songs (In Very High Voices)" (1980)
838. Pet Shop Boys "Being Boring" (1990)
837. Aphex Twin "Windowlicker" (1999)
836. Gilbert O'Sullivan "Alone Again (Naturally)" (1972)
835. XOYO "The Passage" (1982)
834. Keren Ann "Not Going Anywhere" (2004)
833. Arcade Fire "Neighbourhood Number 3 (Power Out)" (2005)
832. Outkast "Hey Ya" (2004)
832. Glen Campbell "Witchita Lineman" (1967)
831. Elbow "Powder Blue" (1998, 2001)
830. The Housemartins "Happy Hour" (1986)
829. One 2 Many "Downtown" (1988)
828. The Darling Buds "Hit The Ground" (1989)
827. The Sugarcubes "Birthday" (1987)
826. The Wedding Present "Kennedy" (1989)
825. Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin "Je T'Aimeâ€¦Moi Non Plus" (1969)
824. Magazine "Shot By Both Sides" (1978)
823. The Moving Finger "Jeremy The Lamp"/ "Pain Of My Misfortune" (1968)
822. Supergrass "Moving" (1999)
821. The Cinematic Orchestra feat Fontella Bass "All That You Give" (2002)
820. At The Drive In "One Armed Scissor" (2000)
819. Harry Nilsson "Without You" (1971)
818. DJ Shadow "Stem" (1996)
817. Pearl Jam "Jeremy" (1992)
816. Blur "Beetlebum" (1997)
815. Half Man Half Biscuit "Dickie Davies' Eyes" (1986)
814. The Pogues "Fiesta" (1988)
813. Frank Zappa "Dancin' Fool"/ "Baby Snakes" (1979)
812. Chic "I Want Your Love" (1979)
811. Sparks "When Do I Get To Sing 'My Way'" (1994)
810. The Fall "Marquis Cha-Cha" (1982)
809. Goldfrapp "Utopia" (2000)
808. Yello "The Race" (1988)
807. Ladytron "He Took Her To A Movie" (1999)
806. Mercury Rev "Chasing A Bee" (1992)
805. The Misunderstood "I Can Take You To The Sun" (1966)
804. The Smiths "This Charming Man" (1983)
803. Kerbdog "End Of Green" (1993)
802. The Rolling Stones "Mixed Emotions" (1989)
801. Wang Chung "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" (1986)
800. Johnny Hates Jazz "I Don't Want To Be A Hero" (1987)
799. Hue and Cry "Labour Of Love" (1987)
798. Air "Surfing On A Rocket" (2004)
797. James "We're Going To Miss You" (1999)
796. Lamb "Gorecki" (1997)
795. Princess "Say I'm Your Number One" (1985)
794. Young MC "Know How" (1988)
793. Mariah Carey "All I Want For Christmas Is You" (1994)
792. Boutique "Strawberries and Cream" (1996)
791. Kim Wilde "Kids In America" (1981)
790. Ian Dury and The Blockheads "Reasons To Be Cheerful (Part 3)" (1979)
789. Alain Bashung "La nuit je mens" (1998)
788. The Beach Boys "Long Promised Road"/ "'Til I Die" (1971)
787. Mavis Staples "I Have Learned To Do Without You" (1970)
786. Clinic "Cement Mixer" (1998)
785. Captain Beefheart "Sure Nuff"/ "Electricity" (1967)
784. The Go! Team "The Power Is On" (2004)
783. Laura Nyro "Once It Was Alright Now (Farmer Joe)"/ "Woman's Blues" (1968)
782. The Fall "It's The New Thing!"/ "Various Times" (1978)
781. Take That "Back For Good" (1995)
780. The Jesus and Mary Chain "You Trip Me Up" (1985)
779. Chaka Khan "I Feel For You" (1984)
778. Carter USM "After The Watershed" (1991)
777. Rhoda with The Special A.K.A. "The Boiler" (1982)
776. Neneh Cherry "Buffalo Stance" (1988)
775. Neneh Cherry "Manchild" (1989)
774. U2 "Discotheque" (1997)
773. Jackson C. Frank "Blues Run The Game" (1965)
772. Paul Mcartney and The Frog Chorus "We All Stand Together" (1985)
771. Silver Apples "Oscillations"/ "Misty Mountain" (1968)
770. The Brian Jonestown Massacre "If I Love You" (2001)
769. Heavenly "P.U.N.K. Girl"/ "Hearts and Crosses" (1993)
768. The Mothers Of Invention "How Could I Be Such A Fool"/ "It Can't Happen Here" (1966)
767. Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel "Make Me Smile (Come Up And See Me)" (1975)
766. A-ha "The Sun Always Shines On TV" (1985)
765. Bran Van 3000 "Drinking In L.A." (1999)
764. Corona "The Rhythm Of The Night" (1994)
763. Pere Ubu "30 Seconds Over Tokyo"/ "Heart Of Darkness" (1975)
762. Robert Pollard "I'm A Strong Lion" (2005)
761. Kirsty MacColl "My Affair" (1991)
760. The Fatima Mansions "Blues For Ceaucescu" (1990)
759. George McCrae "Rock Your Baby" (1974)
758. The Pharcyde "Passin' Me By" (1992)
757. The Kinks "Waterloo Sunset" (1967)
756. Pet Shop Boys and Dusty Springfield "What Have I Done To Deserve This?" (1987)
755. The Go! Team "Bottle Rocket" (2005)
754. Bjork "Bachelorette" (1997)
753. McAlmont and Butler "Yes" (1995)
752. The Walker Brothers "The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore" (1965)
751. The KLF "America: What Time Is Love?" (1992)
750. dEUS "Instant Street" (1999)
749. Nancy Sinatra "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'" (1966)
748. Fatlip "What's Up Fatlip?" (2000)
747. The Slits "Animal Space" (1981)
746. Muse "Starlight" (2006)
745. Scritti Politti "The 'Sweetest Girl'" (1981)
744. Blur "Popscene" (1992)
743. Mellow Candle "Silver Song"/ "Dan The Wing" (1972)
742. The Righteous Brothers "Unchained Melody" (1965)
741. Patti Smith "Gloria"/ "My Generation" (1976)
740. Strawberry Switchblade "Since Yesterday" (1984)
739. B.A. Robertson "Bang Bang" (1979)
738. The Beloved "Time After Time" (1990)
737. Ronnie Spector "She Talks To Rainbows EP" (1999)
736. Frankie Goes To The Bank "When Two Songs Sound The Same" (1984)
735. The Wrens "Hopeless" (2006)
734. Paul Hardcastle "19" (1985)
733. The Colourfield "Thinking Of You" (1985)
732. Walking Seeds "Gates Of Freedom" (1990)
731. The Verve "History" (1995)
730. Pere Ubu "Folly Of Youth" (1995)
729. Saint Etienne "You're In A Bad Way" (1993)
728. Daniel Johnson and Yo La Tengo "Speeding Motorcycle" (1990)
727. Television "Marquee Moon" (1977)
726. Electronic "Forbidden City" (1996)
725. Souls Of Mischief "'93 'Til Infinity" (1993)
724. Television "Little Johnny Jewel" (1975)
723. Huggy Bear "Her Jazz" (1993)
722. DJ Format featuring Abdominal "Vicious Battle Raps" (2003)
721. Asa-Chang and Junray "Hana" (2002)
720. Murray Head "One Night In Bangkok" (1984)
719. Les Paul and Mary Ford "How High The Moon" (1951)
718. Cola Boy "7 Ways To Love" (1991)
717. Liliput "Eisiger Wind" (1980)
716. Suzanne Vega "In Liverpool" (1992)
715. Marillion "Garden Party" (1983)
714. Jane's Addiction "Been Caught Stealing" (1991)
713. The Kingsmen "Louie Louie" (1963)
712. Erasure "Always" (1994)
711. Broadcast "Accidentals" (1996)
710. Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush "Don't Give Up" (1986)
709. Ash "Girl From Mars" (1995)
708. Richard Hell and The Voidoids "Blank Generation"/ "Love Comes In Spurts" (1976)
707. Belle and Sebastian "Books" (2004)
706. Jesus Jones "International Bright Young Thing" (1991)
705. Bis "Eurodisco" (1998)
704. Led Zeppelin "Whole Lotta Love" (1969)
703. Eddie and The Hot Rods "Teenage Depression" (1976)
702. Dr Feelgood "Milk and Alcohol" (1979)
701. Soundgarden "Jesus Christ Pose" (1992)
700. LFO "LFO" (1990)
699. Plush "Three Quarters Blind Eyes" (1994)
698. Anjali "Feline Woman" (1999)
697. Love "Alone Again Or" (1967)
696. Brian Eno and David Byrne "The Jezebel Spirit" (1981)
695. Teenage Jesus and The Jerks "Orphans"/ "Less Of Me" (1979)
694. Holly and The Italians "Tell That Girl To Shut Up"/ "Chapel Of Love" (1979)
693. Aurora Borealis "Aurora Borealis" (1997)
692. Tommy James and The Shondells "Mony Mony" (1968)
691. Slowdive "Alison" (1993)
690. Perry and The Harmonics "Do The Monkey With James" (1965)
689. Eels "Last Stop: This Town" (1998)
688. Godz "Lay In The Sun" (1966)
687. Julian Cope "Charlotte Anne" (1988)
686. The Associates "Tell Me Easter's On Friday" (1981)
685. Michael Jackson "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'" (1983)
684. Swervedriver "Never Lose That Feeling" (1992)
683. Frank Black "Headache" (1994)
682. Iron Maiden "The Number Of The Beast" (1982)
681. Prefab Sprout "Cars and Girls" (1988)
680. Fleetwood Mac "Big Love" (1987)
679. Steely Dan "My Old School" (1973)
678. Simple Minds "Someone Somewhere In Summertime" (1982)
677. Black Flag "TV Party" (1982)
676. Chuck Berry "Johhny B. Goode" (1958)
675. Bobby Parker "Watch Your Step" (1961)
674. Bo Diddley "Bo Diddley"/ "I'm A Man" (1955)
673. The Spinners "It's A Shame" (1970)
672. Spiritualized "Medication" (1992)
671. 808 State "Cubik" (1990)
670. Ray Charles "What'd I Say" (1959)
669. The Cookies "Don't Say Nothin' Bad (About My Baby)" (1963)
668. The Cookies "Chains" (1962)
667. Johnny Boy "You Are The Generation That Bought More Shoes And You Get What You Deserve" (2004)
666. Sandy Shaw "I'd Be Far Better Off Without You"/ "Girl Don't Come" (1964)
665. Ray Charles "I Got A Woman" (1954)
664. The Replacements "I Will Dare" (1984)
663. The Smashing Pumpkins "Tonight Tonight" (1996)
662. Gnarls Barkley "Crazy" (2006)
661. Hood "The Lost You" (2004)
660. Roxy Music "Virginia Plain" (1972)
659. Panda Bear "I'm Not"/ "Comfy In Nautica" (2005)
658. This Mortal Coil "Song To The Siren" (1983)
657. Patience & Prudence "Gonna Get Along Without Ya Now" (1956)
656. 808 State "Azura" (1996)
655. David Bowie "Life On Mars?"/ "The Man Who Sold The World" (1973)
654. Bill Doggett "Honky Tonk"/ "Honky Tonk Popcorn" (1969)
653. The Upsetters "Live Injection" (1969)
652. Augustus Pablo and Lee Perry "Vibrate On" (1976)
651. Junior Murvin "Police and Thieves" (1976)
650. Jens Lenkman "Maple Leaves" (2003)
649. Franz Ferdinand "Take Me Out" (2004)
648. Bubble Puppy "Hot Smoke and Sassafras" (1969)
647. AlizÃ©e "Veni Vedi Vici" (2001)
646. The Peanut Butter Conspiracy "It's A Happening Thing" (1967)
645. Tapes N' Tapes "Insistor" (2006)
644. My Bloody Valentine "Strawberry Wine" (1987)
643. The Idle Race "Imposters Of Life's Magazine" (1967)
642. Misty's Big Adventure "I Am Cool With A Capital C" (2004)
641. David Bowie "Let's Dance" (1983)
640. Chris Isaak "Wicked Game" (1990)
639. Teenage Fanclub "The Concept" (1991)
638. Puppy Love Bomb "Too Busy Thinking" (1994)
637. The Beatles "She Loves You" (1963)
636. P.P. Arnold "Angel Of The Morning" (1968)
635. The Only Ones "Another Girl, Another Planet" (1978)
634. Hardfloor "Fish and Chips" (1994)
633. Stevie Wonder "Sir Duke" (1977)
632. Madness "Embarrassment" (1980)
631. Ms Dynamite "Dy-Na-Mi-Tee" (2002)
630. Leonard Cohen "Suzanne"/ "So Long Marianne" (1968)
629. The Pixies "Here Comes Your Man" (1989)
628. Kenickie "Millionaire Sweeper" (1996)
627. Honeycrack "Go Away" (1996)
626. Lolita Storm "Hot Lips Wet Pants" (2000)
625. Joy Division "Transmission" (1979)
624. Roxy Music "Jealous Guy" (1981)
623. Kylie Minogue "Better The Devil You Know" (1990)
622. Belle and Sebastian "I'm A Cuckoo" (2004)
621. Lilliput "Die Matrosen" (1980)
620. Le Volume Courbe "Harmony"/ "Papillon De Nuit" (2001)
619. Bobby Hebb "Sunny" (1966)
618. XTC "Making Plans For Nigel" (1979)
617. Pulp "The Trees"/ "Sunrise" (2001)
616. Wu Tang Clan "Gravel Pit" (2000)
615. Ol' Dirty Bastard featuring Kelis "Got Your Money" (2000)
614. Augustus Pablo and King Tubby "King Tubby Meets The Rockers Uptown" (1976)
613. Ben Folds Five "Underground" (1996)
612. Prince "Do It All Night" (1981)
611. Flowered Up "Weekender" (1992)
610. Pet Shop Boys "DJ Culture" (1991)
609. Denim "It Fell Off The Back Of A Lorry" (1996)
608. Weezer "Dope Noise" (2002)
607. Janet Jackson "Rhythm Nation" (1989)
606. The Fiery Furnaces "Tropical Ice-Land" (2004)
605. The Human League Red "Love Action (I Believe In Love)" (1981)
604. The Beatles "Paperback Writer"/ "Rain" (1966)
603. Toots and the Maytalls "Pressure Drop" (1972)
602. Peter Tosh "Can't Blame The Youth" (1973)
601. Bad Dream Fancy Dress "The Supremes" (1988)
600. Big Star "Thirteen" (1973)
599. Shannon "Let The Music Play" (1983)
598. Heaven 17 "This Is Mine" (1984)
597. Marillion "Easter" (1990)
596. The Wailers "Small Axe" (1971)
595. 13th Floor Elevators "Rollercoaster" (1966)
594. Liars "There's Always Room On The Broom" (2004)
593. Sleater Kinny "Get Up" (1999)
592. Gang Of Four "At Home He's A Tourist" (1979)
591. The Postal Service "Such Great Heights" (2003)
590. Booker T and the MGs "Soul Limbo" (1968)
589. White Town "Your Woman" (1997)
588. Annie "Chewing Gum" (2004)
587. New Order "Thieves Like Us" (1984)
586. Arab Strap "The Shy Retirer" (2003)
585. The House Of Love "Feel" (1992)
584. George Michael "Father Figure" (1988)
583. George Michael "Cowboys and Angels" (1991)
582. Carole King "Pierre"/ "Chicken Soup With Rice" (1975)
581. They Might Be Giants "Ana Ng" (1989)
580. Ride "Dreams Burn Down" (1990)
579. The Ditty Bops "Live EP" (2005)
578. The Higsons "Conspiracy" (1982)
577. Heavenly "Our Love Is Heavenly"/ "Wrap My Arms Around Him" (1990)
576. Crowded House "Distant Sun" (1993)
575. Dubstar "Stars" (1995)
574. Sabres Of Paradise "Smokebelch II" (1993)
573. Beck "Jack-ass" (1996)
572. Them "It's All Over Now Baby Blue" (1965)
571. The Stranglers "Golden Brown" (1981)
570. Slade "Far Far Away" (1974)
569. Yeah Yeah Yeahs "Y Control" (2004)
568. Black Box Recorder "These Are The Things" (2003)
567. Big Youth "Give Praises" (1975)
566. Pavement "Shady Lane" (1997)
565. Future Bible Heroes "Lonely Days" (1998)
564. The Clash "White Man In Hammersmith Palais" (1978)
563. McCarthy "Should The Bible Be Banned?"/ "We Are All Bourgeois Now" (1988)
562. Madonna "Jump" (2006)
561. Tindersticks "Marbles (This Way Up)" (1993)
560. The Psychedelic Furs "All That Money Wants" (1988)
559. The Raincoats "Fairytale In The Supermarket" (1979)
558. TV On The Radio "Staring At The Sun" (2004)
557. The Contours "First I Look At The Purse" (1965)
556. The Lucksmiths "Midweek Midmorning" (2002)
555. Armand Van Helden "Koochy" (2000)
554. The Beach Boys "Sail On Sailor" (1973)
553. mclusky "Alan Is A Cowboy Killer" (2002)
552. Beulah "Popular Mechanics For Lovers" (2002)
551. Robbie Williams "No Regrets" (1998)
550. The Leaves "Hey Joe" (1966)
549. The Electric Prunes "I Had Too Much To Dream Last Night" (1967)
548. R.E.M. "Radio Free Europe" (1981)
547. Etta James "All The Way Down" (1973)
546. The Smiths "What Difference Does It Make?" (1984)
545. Depeche Mode "Shake The Disease" (1985)
544. Hello "New York Groove" (1975)
543. The Beatles "The Ballad Of John and Yoko" (1969)
542. Kate Bush "Cloudbusting" (1985)
541. Sophie Ellis Bextor "Murder On The Dancefloor" (2001)
540. Barbara Morgenstern "The Operator" (2006)
539. Etta James "Woman" (1972)
538. 10cc "I'm Not In Love" (1975)
537. Gary Glitter "Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah)" (1973)
536. Everything But The Girl "Missing" (1995)
535. The Bee Gees "Fanny (Be Tender With My Love)" (1976)
534. Britney Spears "Baby One More Time" (1999)
533. Saint Etienne "How We Used To Live" (2000)
532. Eurythmics "Julia" (1985)
531. Manu Chao "Bongo Bong" (1998)
530. The Smiths "Ask" (1986)
529. dEUS "Little Arithmetics" (1996)
528. Black Sabbath "War Pigs"/ "Paranoid" (1973)
527. MÃºm "Green Grass Of Tunnel" (2002)
526. Jeff Mills "Mecca EP" (1993)
525. The Wannadies "Hit" (1997)
524. Buffseeds "Barricade" (2002)
523. Wham! "Young Guns (Go For It!)" (1982)
522. Spice Girls "Say You'll Be There" (1996)
521. Herb Alpert and Tijuana Brass "Spanish Flea" (1965)
520. Radiohead "My Iron Lung EP" (1994)
519. Stars "Ageless Beauty" (2005)
518. Neil Diamond "Sweet Caroline" (1971)
517. The Teardrop Explodes "Reward" (1981)
516. New Order "Crystal" (2001)
515. Smokers Die Younger "SDY" (2004)
514. ABC "All Of My Heart" (1982)
513. The Blue Nile "Tinseltown In The Rain" (1984)
512. Common "Go!" (2005)
511. Dire Straits "Money For Nothing" (1985)
510. Dot Allison "Mo Pop" (1999)
509. Penetration "Firing Squad" (1978)
508. Richard Hell "3 New Songs EP" (1992)
507. Hot Chip "Laid Back (Over and Over)" (2006)
506. Francois Wertheimer "Le Compagnon De Voyage" (1970)
505. Slade "Merry Xmas Everybody" (1973)
504. The Pipettes "Pull Shapes" (2006)
503. The Jayhawks "Blue" (1995)
502. Joni Mitchell "Free Man In Paris" (1974)
501. The Who "I Can See For Miles" (1967)
500. Would-Be-Goods "The Camera Loves Me" (1988)
499. The Divine Comedy "Come Home Billy Bird" (2004)
498. The Hollies "Bus Stop" (1965)
497. Kylie Minogue "Some Kind Of Bliss" (1997)
496. Aim featuring Kate Rogers "The Girl Who Fell Through The Ice" (2002)
495. David Essex "Rock On" (1973)
494. America "A Horse With No Name" (1971)
493. Emiliana Torrini "Unemployed In Summertime" (2000)
492. Bernard Butler "Not Alone" (1998)
491. Ian Dury and The Blockheads "Blockheads" (1977)
490. Gorky's Zygotic Mynci "Sweet Johnny" (1998)
489. Julian Cope "China Doll" (1988)
488. Sparks "The Number One Song In Heaven" (1979)
487. Queens Of The Stone Age "Go With The Flow" (2003)
486. Public Image Ltd. "Rise" (1986)
485. Earl Brutus "Navyhead" (1996)
484. Spitting Image "The Chicken Song" (1986)?
483. Soft Cell "Torch" (1982)
482. The Lotus Eaters "The First Picture Of You" (1983)
481. Sugababes "Overload" (2000)
480. Five Star "Rain Or Shine" (1986)
479. Heart "These Dreams" (1986)
478. Joy Division "Atmosphere" (1980)
477. New Order "Ceremony" (1981)
476. My Bloody Valentine "You Made Me Realise" (1988)
475. Massive "Unfinished Sympathy" (1991)
474. Stephen 'Tin Tin' Duffy "Kiss Me" (1985)
473. John Otway and Wild Willy Barrett "Headbutts" (1981)
472. Tom Tom Club "Genius Of Love" (1981)
471. Chris Bell "I Am The Cosmos"/ "You And Your Sister" (1978)
470. The Osmonds "Crazy Horses" (1972)
469. The Jam "That's Entertainment" (1981)
468. Blondie "Heart Of Glass" (1979)
467. The Monkees "Porpoise Song" (1968)
466. The Bug featuring Cutty Ranks "Gun Disease" (2003)
465. The Gentle People "Groovin' With You" (1998)
464. Air "Le Soleil Est Pres De Moi" (1997)
463. The Byrds "Eight Miles High" (1966)
462. Pink Floyd "Arnold Layne" (1967)
461. Dead Boys "Sonic Reducer" (1977)
460. Pulp "My Legendary Girlfriend" (1991)
459. The Divine Comedy "Everybody Knows (Except You)" (1996)
458. The Ronettes "Be My Baby" (1963)
457. The Ramones "Baby I Love You" (1980)
456. Hybrid featuring Julee Cruise "If I Survive" (1999)
455. Gavin Bryars with Tom Waits "Jesus' Blood Never Failed Me Yet" (1993)
454. k.d. lang "Miss Chatelaine" (1992)
453. Sylvian Sakamoto "Forbidden Colours" (1983)
452. Diana Ross "Upside Down" (1980)
451. The Libertines "Up The Bracket" (2002)
450. Inspiral Carpets "Keep The Circle Around" (1988)
449. Pet Shop Boys "Left To My Own Devices" (1988)
448. Saint Etienne "Join Our Club"/ "People Get Real" (1992)
447. The Chills "I Love My Leather Straightjacket" (1986)
446. Martha and The Muffins "Echo Beach" (1980)
445. Supergrass "Caught By The Fuzz" (1994)
444. Simple Minds "I Travel" (1980)
443. Hoodoo Gurus "What's My Scene?" (1987)
442. Seam "Granny 9X" (1992)
441. Cousteau "Last Good Day Of The Year" (2000)
440. Bush Tetras "Too Many Creeps" (1980)
439. ESG "You're No Good" (1981)
438. Liquid Liquid "Optimo" (1983)
437. Teenage Fanclub "Everything Flows" (1990)
436. Elastica "Stutter" (1993)
435. Toy Dolls "Nellie The Elephant" (1984)
434. The Damned "Grimly Fiendish" (1985)
433. Len "Steal My Sunshine" (1999)
432. The Associates "Those First Impressions" (1985)
431. XTC "Great Fire" (1983)
430. Madness "Michael Caine" (1984)
429. The Idle Race "The Days Of The Broken Arrows" (1969)
428. Orange "Judy Over The Rainbow" (1994)
427. AC Acoustics "Stunt Girl" (1997)
426. Electrasy "Morning Afterglow" (1998)
425. Cay "Resurrexit" (2000)
424. Smiley Culture "Police Officer" (1984)
423. Nelly Furtado "Maneater" (2006)
422. Helen Love "Does Your Heart Go Boom?" (1997)
421. The Orb "Perpetual Dawn" (1991/ 1994)
420. The White Stripes "Dead Leaves and The Dirty Ground" (2001)
419. Inspiral Carpets "Please Be Cruel" (1991)
418. Inspiral Carpets featuring Mark E. Smith "I Want You" (1994)
417. Spiritualized "Do It All Over Again" (2002)
416. The Kinks "Autumn Almanac" (1967)
415. Liza Minnelli "Losing My Mind" (1989)
414. Bodies Without Organs "Living In A Fantasy" (2004)
413. Plone "Plock" (1998)
412. The Beach Boys "Good Vibrations" (1967)
411. Sex Pistols "Anarchy In The UK" (1976)
410. Salad "Motorbike To Heaven" (1995)
409. Furniture "Brilliant Mind" (1986)
407. Malcolm Middleton "Loneliness Shines" (2005)
406. Adam and the Ants "Cartrouble" (1979)
405. Orange Juice "Falling and Laughing" (1980)
404. Goldfrapp "Strict Machine" (2003)
403. My Bloody Valentine "Glider" (1990)
402. Lambchop "Up With People" (1999)
401. V.L.A.D. "Motion Institute" (2000)
400. The Auteurs "Back With The Killer E.P." (1995)
399. Morrissey "Certain People I Know" (1992)
398. Silver Apples "You and I"/ "I Have Known Love" (1969)
397. The Teardrop Explodes "Sleeping Gas" (1978)
396. Pink Floyd "See Emily Play" (1967)
395. The Red Krayola "Wives In Orbit"/ "Yik Yak" (1978)
394. Pinback "Loro" (1999)
393. Konstantin Raudive "Breakthrough" (1971)
392. Pet Shop Boys "So Hard" (1990)
391. The Zombies "She's Not There" (1964)
390. The Zombies "Time Of The Season" (1968)
389. The Zombies "Beechwood Park" (1967)
388. Sagittarius "My World Fell Down" (1967)
387. The Left Banke "Pretty Ballerina" (1966)
386. The Left Banke "Walk Away Renee" (1966)
385. The Railway Children "Every Beat Of The Heart" (1991)
384. Godley & Creme "Cry" (1985)
383. Sam Cooke "A Change Is Gonna Come" (1964)
382. Propaganda "Duel" (1985)
381. P.M. Dawn "Paper Doll" (1991)
380. Dollar "Mirror Mirror (Mon Amour)" (1981)
379. Yes "Owner Of A Lonely Heart" (1983)
378. Donna Summer "State Of Independence" (1982)
377. Herman's Hermits - No Milk Today (1966)
376. Super Furry Animals - Juxtaposed with U
375. Public Image Ltd - Public Image (1978)
374. The Boo Radleys - Wish I Was Skinny (1993)
373. The Knife - Heartbeats (2002)
372. R. Crumb and his Cheap Suit Serenaders - My Girl's Pussy (1978)
371. Syd Barrett - Octopus (1969)
370. Dexys Midnight Runners - Plan B (1981)
369. Cymande - 'Brothers on the slide' (2005)
368. The Passions - I?m in Love with a German Film Star (1981)
367. The Flaming Lips - Race For The Prize (1999)
366. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Into My Arms (1997)
365. Garbage - Stupid Girl (1995)
364. Jona Lewie - You'll Always Find Me in the Kitchen at Parties (1980)
363. Radiohead - There There (2003)
362. The Stone Roses - Made of Stone (1989)
361. Richard and the Young Lions - Open Up Your Door (1966)
360. Baltimora - Tarzan Boy (1984)
359. The Byrds - All I Really Want To Do" / "I'll Feel A Whole Lot Better" (1965)
358. Ben E. King - Spanish Harlem (1961)
357. The Jesus & Mary Chain - Sidewalking (1988)
356. Mudhoney - Touch Me I'm Sick (1988)
355. The Rolling Stones - Jumping Jack Flash/Child Of The Moon (1968)
354. Q Lazzarus - Goodbye Horses
353. Billy Liar - The Decemberists
352. Quickspace Supersport - Superplus
351. Quickspace - Happy Song Number 2
350. Big Star - The Ballad of El Goodo
349. The Bluetones - Never Going Nowhere (2003)
348. Stereolab - Lo Boob Oscillator (1993)
347. Cornershop - 6 a.m. Jullander Shere (1995)
346. [Camera Obscura] - Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heartbroken (2006)
345. Justice vs. Simian - We Are Your Friends (2006)
344. Joseph Henry - Who's The King? (You Know That's Me) (1997)
343. The Waterboys - Whole Of The Moon (1985)
342. Jens Lekman - Black Cab (2004)
341. The Aloof - One Night Stand (1996)
340. SL2 - On A Ragga Trip (1992)
339. ELO - Sweet Talkin' Woman (1978)
338. Edwyn Collins - Magic Piper Of Love
337. Leonard Cohen - Hallelujah (1984)
336. The Sleepy Jackson - This Day / Come To This (2004)
335. Husker Du - Could You Be The One (1987)
334. The Beatles - I Want To Hold Your Hand/This Boy (1963)
333. Edison Lighthouse - Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) (1970)
332. The Shangri-Las - Remember (Walkin' In The Sand) (1964)
331. The Shangri-Las - Give Him A Great Big Kiss (1965)
330. The Shangri-Las - Past, Present and Future (1966)
329. The Housemartins - Build (1987)
328. Duke Ellington - Take The "A" Train (1941)
327.Miles Davis - Boplicity (1949)
326. Miles Davis - Jeru (1949)
325. Miles Davis - Venus De Milo (1949)
324. Miles Davis - Black Satin (1972)
323. Django Reinhardt - Nuages (1940)
322. Nancy Sinatra - You Only Live Twice (1967)
321. Carly Simon - Nobody Does It Better (1977)
320. Marlena Shaw - California Soul (1969)
319. Peter, Bjorn & John (feat Victoria Bergsman) - Young Folks (2006)
318. I'm From Barcelona - We're From Barcelona (2006)
317. The Concretes - Warm Night (2004)
316. Sugababes - Red Dress (2006)
315. Robyn - Konichawa Bitches (2006)
314. Midlake - Roscoe (2006)
313. Gil Scott-Heron - The Revolution Will Not Be Televised/Home Is Where The Hatred Is (1971)
312. Howling Bells - Setting Son (2006)
311. Plastic Bertrand - Ca Plane Pour Moi (1978)
310. Sneaker Pimps - Six Underground (Nellee Hooper remix) (1996)
309. The Love Affair - Rainbow Valley (1968)
308. 'Mama' Cass Elliot - It's Getting Better (1969)
307. The Lovin' Spoonful - Do You Believe In Magic? (1965)
306. Mick Jagger - Memo From Turner (1969)
305. Fleetwood Mac - Man Of The World (1969)
304. Mamas and The Papas - Creeque Alley (1967)
303. Aretha Franklin - Baby I Love You (1967)
302. New York Dolls - Trash/Personality Crisis (1973)
301. Loop - Arc-Lite (1989)
300. Tenpole Tudor - Swords of a Thousand Men (1981)
299. The Proclaimers - Sunshine On Leith (1988)
298. Kate Bush - Wuthering Heights (1978)
297. Tiger - Race (1996)
296. Bob Dylan - Positively 4th Street (1965)
295. Curtis Mayfield - Move On Up (1971)
294. Dusty Springfield - The Look of Love (1968)
293. Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass - This Guy's In Love With You (1968)
292. The Shirelles - Baby, It?s You (1962)
291. Dionne Warwick - Walk On By (1964)
290. The White Stripes - I Just Don?t Know What To Do with Myself (2003)
289. Aretha Franklin - I Say A Little Prayer (1968)
288. ? and The Mysterians - 96 Tears
287. Sandy Nelson - Let There Be Drums (1961)
286. The Ramsey Lewis Trio - The In Crowd (1965)
285. Jaydee - Plastic Dreams (1993)
284. Future Sound Of London - Papua New Guinea (1992)
283. Girls On Top - I Wanna Dance With Numbers (2001)
282. Cash Money & Marvelous - The Mighty Hard Rocker (b-side of Find An Ugly Woman) (1988)
281. Selectah - Wede Man (Hoody Mix) (1994)
280. Wayne Smith - Under Me Sleng Teng (1986)
279. Sheila B Devotion - Spacer (1979)
278. The Four Tops - Standing In The Shadow Of Love (1967)
277. The Style Council - Walls Come Tumbling Down (1985)
276. Daft Punk - One More Time (2000)
275. Fleetwood Mac - You Make Loving Fun (1977)
274. Sleeper - What Do I Do Now? (1995)
273. [Lupe Fiasco] - Kick Push (2006)
272. The Cooper Temple Clause - Who Needs Enemies? (2002)
271. Martha & The Vandellas - Dancing In The Street (1964)
270. The Notwist - Pick Up the Phone (2002)
269. Feist - Mushaboom (2004)
268. The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster - Celebrate Your Mother (2002)
267. Thunderclap Newman - Accidents/I See it All (1970)
266. King Biscuit Time - I Walk The Earth (2000)
265. The Beta Band - Dry the Rain (1997)
264. Negativland - U2 (1991)
263. Belle and Sebastian "I'm Waking Up To Us" (2001)
262. The Temptations "I Can't Get Next To You" (1969)
261. Silver Sun "Lava" (1996)
260. Easybeats "Peculiar Hole In The Sky" (1969)
259. Whiteout "Detroit" (1994)
258. Simon and Garfunkel "Sounds Of Silence" (1966)
257. Lisa Marie with Malcolm McLaren and The Bootzilla Orchestra "Something's Jumpin' In Your Shirt" (1989)
256. Sasha "Xpander" (1999)
255. Orbital "The Saint" (1997)
254. Clarence Williams Blue Five "I Wish I Could Shimmy Like My Sister Kate" (1930)
253. Gene Krupa Orchestra "Let Me Off Uptown" (1941)
252. Gene Krupa Orchestra "Thanks For The Boogie Ride" (1941)
251. Gene Krupa Orchestra "Boogie Blues" (1945)
250. Yo La Tengo "Sugarcube" (1997)
249. The Sundays "Summertime" (1997)
248. Natalie Imbruglia "Wrong Impression" (2002)
247. The Black Keys "Set You Free" (2003)
246. Paul Haig "Something Good" (1989)
245. Pop Will Eat Itself "Can U Dig It?" (1989)
244. Dannii Minogue "All I Wanna Do" (1997)
243. Paul McCartney and Wings "Band On The Run" (1973)
242. Motorhead "Ace Of Spades" (1980)
241. Doves "Sea EP" (1999)
240. Marc Almond "Jacky" (1991)
239. A House "Endless Art" (1992)
238. The Beatles "Free As A Bird" (1995)
237. David Bowie "Thursday's Child" (1999)
236. Jellyfish "The Ghost At Number One" (1993)
235. The Ramones "Blitzkreig Bop" (1976)
234. The White Stripes "Fell In Love With A Girl" (2001)
233. Scritti Politti "The Word Girl" (1985)
232. Dave Clark Five "Bits and Pieces" (1964)
231. Ian McNabb "Great Dreams Of Heaven" (1993)
230. Crowded House "Don't Dream It's Over" (1987)
229. Lost Witness "Happiness Happening" (1999)
228. Trash Can Sinatras "To Sir With Love" (1996)
227. OMD "The Remixes EP" (1998)
226. Scritti Politti featuring Shabba Ranks "She's A Woman" (1991)
225. Mansun "Legacy" (1998)
224. Information Society "What's On Your Mind?" (1988)
223. Belle and Sebastian "Dog On Wheels EP" (1997)
222. Venetian Snares "Einstein-Rosen Bridge" (2003)
221. Paul McCartney "Temporary Secretary" (1980)
220. The Police "Walking On The Moon" (1979)
219. Saint Etienne "Like A Motorway" (1994)
218. Prefab Sprout "Jordan: The EP" (1991)
217. Jona Lewie "Stop The Cavalry" (1980)
216. Front 242 "Headhunter" (1988)
215. Ministry "Stigmata" (1988)
214. Rosie Vela "Magic Smile" (1987)
213. Super Furry Animals "Fire In My Heart" (1999)
212. Super Furry Animals "Northern Lites" (1999)
211. Super Furry Animals "Ice Hockey Hair EP" (1998)
210. The Avalanches "Since I Left You" (2001)
209. Black Lace "Agadoo" (1984)
208. The Bangles "Following" (1987)
207. The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl "Fairytale Of New York" (1987)
206. Squeeze "Slap and Tickle" (1980)
205. Patti Smith Group "Because The Night" (1978)
204. Squeeze "This Summer" (1995)
203. The Beach Boys "Wouldn't It Be Nice"/ "God Only Knows" (1966)
202. Monaco "What Do You Want From Me?" (1997)
201. DJ Dee Kline "I Don't Smoke" (2003)
200. Fats Domino "Blueberry Hill" (1956)
199. The Rolling Stones "She's A Rainbow"/ "2000 Light Years From Home" (1967)
198. The Auteurs "Lenny Valentino" (1993)
197. The Standells "Dirty Water" (1966)
196. Gallon Drunk "Two Clear Eyes" (1996)
195. The Velvet Underground "Who Loves The Sun?" (1971)
194. The Kinks "Celluloid Heroes" (1972)
193. Tom Waits "Lie To Me" (2006)
192. Bronski Beat "Smalltown Boy" (1984)
191. Leonard Cohen "The Future" (1992)
190. Marilyn Manson "Coma White" (1999)
189. Billy Bragg "Levi Stubb's Tears" (1986)
188. George Harrison "When We Was Fab" (1987)
187. Babybird "The F Word" (2000)
186. The Fifth Dimension "Aquarius"/ "Let The Sunshine In" (1969)
185. The Concretes "You Can't Hurry Love" (2004)
184. ABBA "Knowing Me, Knowing You" (1977)
183. ABBA "Dancing Queen" (1976)
182. Kutis Blow "The Breaks" (1980)
181. The Connells "74-75" (1995)
180. The Who "Substitute" (1966)
179. The Who "The Kids Are Alright" (1966)
178. The Zombies "Care Of Cell 44" (1968)
177. Chas and Dave "Ain't No Pleasing You" (1982)
176. Tori Amos "Crucify" (1992)
175. DB Boulevard "Point Of View" (2002)
174. 50 Cent "In Da Club" (2002)
173. Sylvester and Patrick Cowley "Do You Wanna Funk?" (1982)
172. The Crystals "He's A Rebel" (1962)
171. David Bowie "Sound and Vision" (1977)
170. Orange Juice "Rip It Up" (1983)
169. Wah! "The Story Of The Blues" (1982)
168. Bob Dylan "Jokerman" (1984)
167. Deborah Harry and Iggy Pop "Well Did You Evah!" (1991)
166. Blondie "Rapture" (1981)
165. Pet Shop Boys "Opportunities (Let's Make Lots Of Money)" (1986)
164. Josef K "Sorry For Laughing" (1981)
163. Boards Of Canada "In A Beautiful Place Out In The Country EP" (2000)
162. Primal Scream "Higher Than The Sun" (1991)
161. Althia and Donna "Uptown Top Ranking" (1978)
160. Carlos Gardel "Por Una Cabeza" (1935)
159. Timebox "Girl Don't Make Me Wait" (1968)
158. The Charlatans "How High" (1997)
157. The Carpenters "Yesterday Once More" (1973)
156. Sparks "This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us" (1974)
155. The Go-Betweens "Streets Of Your Town" (1989)
154. Microdisney "Singer's Hampstead Home" (1988)
153. Petula Clark "Downtown" (1964)
152. The Turtles "Elenore" (1968)
151. The Box Tops "The Letter"/ "The Rainbow" (1968)
150. The Hold Steady "Chips Ahoy!" (2006)
149. The Small Faces "Itchycoo Park" (1967)
148. Thomas Bangalter "Spiral Scratch" (1996)
147. Etienne De Crecy "Super Disco" (1996)
146. Daft Punk "Musique" (1996)
145. Neutral Milk Hotel "Holland, 1945" (1998)
144. 10cc "I'm Mandy, Fly Me" (1975)
143. Nirvana "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (1991)
142. Throbbing Gristle "United" (1976)
141. Depeche Mode "Blasphemous Rumours" (1984)
140. Hi Tension "British Hustle" (1976)
139. The Wedding Present "My Favourite Dress" (1987)
138. The Paris Sisters "I Love How You Love Me" (1961)
137. Half Man Half Biscuit "Look Dad No Tunes" (1999)
136. Creedence Clearwater Revival "Bad Moon Risins" (1969)
135. The Human League "Don't You Want Me" (1981)
134. Gwen Guthrie "Ain't Nothing Goin' On But The Rent" (1986)
133. Mark Ronson featuring Alex Greenwald "Just" (2006)
132. The Long Blondes "Giddy Stratospheres" (2006)
131. Sparklehorse "Rainmaker" (1996)
130. Talk Talk "I Believe In You" (1988)
129. The Angels "My Boyfriend's Back" (1963)
128. Sia "Breathe Me"
127. Manic Street Preachers "Faster" (1994)
126. The Apples In Stereo "Energy" (2007)
125. France Gall "Les Sucettes" (1966)
124. Enter Shikari "Sorry You're Not A Winner" (2007)
123. Tracy Ullman "Breakaway" (1983)
122. The Jackson Five "I Want You Back" (1969)
121. Tallulah Gosh "Bringing Up Baby" (1988)
120. Reeves and Mortimer and EMF "I'm A Believer" (1995)
119. Of Montreal "Heimdalsgate Like A Promethean Curse" (2007)
118. Animal Collective "Grass" (2005)
117. Wham! "The Edge Of Heaven" (1986)
116. Joyce Sims "All and All" (1986)
115. Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Tich "Last Night In Soho" (1968)
114. John Kongos "He's Gonna Step On You Again" (1971)
113. Dean Martin "Gentle On My Mind" (1969)
112. Glen Campbell "By The Time I Get To Phoenix" (1967)
111. Louis Armstrong "Mack The Knife" (1956)
110. Dandy Livingstone "Rudy, A Message To You" (1967)
109. The Boo Radleys "Lazarus" (1994)
108. The Four Tops "Reach Out I'll Be There" (1966)
107. The Rolling Stones "Brown Sugar" (1971)
106. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps
105. Kon Kan - I Beg Your Pardon
104. New Frontier - Donald Fagen
103. Freda Payne - Band of Gold
102 Chris Farlowe - Out of Time
101 Clinic - Distortions
100 K-Klass - Rhythm is a Mystery
99 Cliff Richard - We Don’t Talk Anymore
98 Maxine Nightingale - Right Back Where We Started From
97 The Polyphonic Spree - Soldier Girl
96 Alexisonfire - This Could Be Anywhere in the World
95 Mobb Deep - Shook Ones Pt. 2
94 ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead - Mistakes and Regrets
93 Raekwon - Ice Cream
92 Cable - Bluebirds Are Blue
91 Ice Cube - It Was A Good Day
90 Hum - The Pod
89 Blue Oyster Cult - Don't Fear The Reaper
88 David Bowie - The Hearts Filthy Lesson
87 Kyuss - Green Machine
86 Thomas Dolby - She Blinded Me With Science
85 Groove Armada featuring Mutya Buena - 'Song 4 Mutya (Out Of Control)'
84 Timbaland featuring Keri Hilson and D.O.E. - 'The Way I Are'
83 Eric B and Rakim - 'Paid In Full (Coldcut's Seven Minutes Of Madness mix)'
82 Freeez - 'I.O.U.'
81 Pet Shop Boys - 'West End Girls'
80 Nu Shooz - I Can't Wait
79 Catherine Wheel - Black Metallic
78 Mew - Am I Wry? NO
77 Mum - Nightly Cares
76 Dan Deacon - Crystal Cat
75 Was (Not Was) - Shake Your Head
74 Bananarama - 'Robert De Niro's Waiting'
73 Blondie - 'Sunday Girl'
72 Blondie - 'Atomic'
71 Blondie - 'Hanging On The Telephone'
70 The Boo Radleys - 'From the Bench at Belvidere'
69 O-Zone – Dragostea Din Tei
68 Sid Vicious/Sex Pistols – My Way
67 Johnny Thunders & the Heartbreakers – Chinese Rocks (live)
66 That’s How Strong My Love Is – Otis Redding
65 Pawnbroker, Pawnbroker – Barbara Ruskin
64 The Honeybees - She Doesn't Deserve You
63 The Replacements - Alex Chilton
62 Ain't That Enough - Teenage Fanclub
61 You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC
60 Hey Jude/Revolution - The Beatles
59 Fool's Gold/What the World Is Waiting For - The Stone Roses
58 Surf City - Jan & Dean
57 Tutti Frutti - Little Richard
56 Sabotage/Get It Together - The Beastie Boys
55 Mixed Blood (Mambo Rock) - Bronx Dogs
54 I've Been Waiting - Matthew Sweet
53 Sexx Laws - Beck
52 (Hey You) What's That Sound - Les Rhythmes Digitales
51 Only Love Can break Your Heart - Neil Young
50 Spooks - Things I've Seen
49 Squarepusher - My Red Hot Car (Girl)
48 Squarepusher - Do You Know Squarepusher?
47 Aaliyah - Are You That Somebody?
46 Japanese Boy – Aneka
45 Pop Muzik - M
44 Feels Like I’m In Love – Kelly Marie
43 Don't Stop Believin' - Journey
42 Walk on the Wild Side' - Lou Reed
41 Whole Lotta Rosie - AC/DC
40 Rebellion (Lies) - Arcade Fire
39 My Boy Lolipop - Millie Small
38 99 Red Balloons - Nena
37 Yes Sir I Can Boogie - Baccara
36 New Slang - The Shins
35 Frontier Psychiatrist - The Avalanches
34 Seven Seas of Rhye - Queen
33 Confetti/My Drug Buddy - The Lemonheads
32 Sharp Dressed Man - ZZ Top
31 If I Can't Change Your Mind - Sugar
30 Shake Your Body (Down To The Ground) - The Jacksons
29 Dinosaur Jr. - Take A Run At The Sun
28 Mogwai - Summer/Ithica 27o9
27 Orb - Toxygene (Edit)
26 Eels - Hey Man (Now You're Really Living)
25 Robert Wyatt - Free Will and Testament
24 The Stylistics - I Can't Give you Anything (But My Love)
23 Trio - "Da Da Da ich lieb dich nicht du liebst mich nicht aha aha aha"
22 Cristina - Is that all there is?
21 Clinic - The Return Of Evil Bill
20 Battles - Atlas
19 Mono - Life in Mono
18 Doves - There Goes The Fear
17 The Kinks - You Really Got Me
16 Grandmaster Flash - The Message
15 Super Furry Animals - Slow Life
14 Interpol - NYC
13 The Turtles - So Happy Together
12 Jens Lekman - You Are the Light (By Which I Travel Into This and That)
11 The Mighty Sparrow - Village Ram
10 The Maisonettes - Heartache Avenue
09 Ian Dury & The Blockheads - Sweet Gene Vincent
08 The Rubettes - Sugar Baby Love
07 The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band- (I'm The) Urban Spaceman
06 The Beatles - Strawberry Fields Forever/Penny Lane
05 Weezer - Buddy Holly
04 The House of Love - Destroy the Heart
03 The Beat - Mirror In The Bathroom
02 The Temptations - Papa was a Rollin' Stone
01 mclusky - To Hell With Good Intentions

Obviously I can't say I agree with every single choice, but it's fascinating to see precisely what everybody chipped in with. If you want to argue with the results, it's probably best to join the forum at http://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk and go to the Oscillations section rather than bicker with me about it.

I'm now sitting back and seeing whether mentioning 1,000 different singles in a row like that and also the magic word "MP3" will cause the webstats for this blog to suddenly skyrocket... sorry to disappoint any random strangers who have popped by expecting more.

Anyway, on another topic entirely, I'm doing a gig at the George Tavern near Shadwell tube tonight, so please drop by if you can. The audiences for these occasions tend to be notoriously tough, so we'll see how it goes...

Sick Me, I'm Touched

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:17:39 GMT

Touch Me I'm Sick is a regular London poetry night which has been running for nearly two years now. That seems like a rather pathetic tally in the grand scheme of things - "But the Eiffel Tower has been around for longer!" I can hear you cry - but on the ever-changing poetry circuit that's actually quite significant. It does seem sometimes as if most nights collapse not long after their first birthdays, the hosts gradually growing tired of the work involved for minimum thanks or financial returns. Two years is normally a decent benchmark, and a sign that the evening will be around for awhile to come yet.

Changes do seem to be afoot with the occasion, however. Last night they managed to get a sixties garage and psychedelic DJ to play music in the run up to the night and also during the breaks, which obviously meets with my full approval. TMIS has had odd evenings in the past where enthusiasm and audience response has seemed somewhat low, and such high tempo, full-on, joyous clanging and rattling seems ideal to get people in the mood. It may be a sheer coincidence, but on this occasion I notice that the audience seem much more cheerful and enthusiastic.

There again, it's always worth cheering up when Richard Tyrone Jones has a full-length set. Richard has been on the circuit for long enough now that he's beginning to seem like a stalwart himself, and far from churning out the same material over and over, he often achieves the impressive feat of regularly keeping his set fresh amidst all the pressure of the continual live work. I must admit I prefer his shorter, snappier material, but the longer prose pieces he did last night managed the tricky balancing act between being crude, intelligent and surreal. "The Day the World's Arsehole Disappeared", for example, does exactly what it says on the tin topic-wise, but allows itself to speculate and meander around the subject in a fashion which is immediately fascinating. He has the imagination to actually think through all the absurd scenarios and possible statements which could be made out of the basest of beginnings, and to do so whilst hardly bothering to mention toilet matters, and for that should be applauded. There's no question that his raucous and full-on style may not be to everybody's taste, but it's certainly worth investigating.

This was arguably the best TMIS I've been to since the night began, and I can only hope that it manages to continue on this form for much longer.

(And yes, I will still carry on updating this LJ until I've got the other blog fully in place).

Being a filthy, blog site tart

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 17:48:13 GMT

I've been talking about doing this for ages, and I think the time is nigh... well, a couple of weeks away, anyway (let me get Easter and a few other extra-curricular responsibilities out of the way first).

In a nutshell, I think time is long overdue to put an end to this Livejournal. I do aim to continue blogging, but for various reasons too dull to go into here would like to keep the poetry blog active online over at the Myspace site, and start up a specialist music blog running elsewhere. I could of course just as easily do the latter here on LJ, but there are a wide variety of reasons why I might find that uncomfortable, and for quite another thing, I really don't think that LJ is quite the blogging site that it once was when I joined in 2004. It's not even owned or marketed by the same people. Time was you had all sorts of brilliant, tremendously active writers on this site and a lot of interaction, whereas there are days at the moment where it just feels like operating within a void (and not just on this blog either - my whole friends list suffers from similar underactivity).

Additionally, I don't feel especially comfortable scribbling away about everyday matters on here*. There have been a few instances in the last year or so where I've almost said the wrong thing and come a cropper, and so I've been a bit more ruthless at editing those sorts of entries than I used to be. The problem is, it's now reached a point where I feel as if I'm skirting around the interesting details so much that the whole thing is almost entirely missing the point, and actually isn't much fun for me on a personal level. I'm not one of life's natural gossips, and whilst a blog might have made sense when I was living in Australia when I had a lot to observe and could very quickly run away (or at least get a flight home) in the event of upsetting the natives, it's a bit harder to be so truthful in London where people do seem to take offence very easily. It doesn't matter that this blog is actually hardly read by anybody - it only needs to be read by the wrong person at the wrong time for me to find my nasal passages precariously close to the proverbial ton of shit. And we all know what that smells like, eh readers?

The big question is, where should the new blog go? Blogger and Blogspot seem to be the most popular two choices, and there's a lot of content on both that's worthy of a good read, but what essentially is the difference? What tools do they offer? Is there anything that's a pain in the arse about them? And what are their communities like (Blogspot seems the most active to my eyes, but is it easy to "link into" other people's journals as you can on lj?)

Anyhow, I await everyone's advice. If I don't get any, I'll probably pester rhodri. And rest assured I've been out buying odds and sods from records stores and doing some vinyl rips of stuff that will end up on the new music blog, and it will be a damn sight (or perhaps a damn site, ho ho) better than this scrapbook-styled effort in terms of content.

(*Yes, I've heard of locked entries. No, I don't like them much).

Thirteenth Floor Club

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 14:09:25 GMT

I returned to the 13th Floor Club on Saturday night, which is almost always a joy. It might be because it's a niche night, playing only sixties mod, garage and psychedelia, but it appears on the surface to be one of those rare evenings which manages to attract a constant, hardcore audience without once being heavily invaded by scenesters or people determined to force their vain identity on the place. Facebook photo snappers are present there, but for most people the evening seems to be an excuse to have a good time rather than to be seen to be seen in the right clothes.

I find that most of the best club nights in London peak early in their lives - you have to be aware of them just after the first couple of nights when they're beginning to attract a crowd, but before the point where the more obnoxious media whores get wind of them and colonise them. Believe it or not, I know club promoters who (privately) think exactly the same thing, and get painfully nostalgic for the days When They Wasn't Famous. Or didn't have their brilliant idea ruined, at least - fame is probably overstating the case more than a little bit.

Highlights of the evening included:

* Guest DJ David Quantick getting deperate for the toilets and leaving his DJ booth to rush through to the front of the cubicle queues with a nervous and embarrassed wave of thanks. I wouldn't like to speculate about what his problem was, but I hope he's OK now.

* Icelandic mod band Thor's Hammer actually getting a spin on the decks this time around - not with "My Life" but another more obscure EP track "Big Beat Country Dance". Always welcome.

* Can's "Mother Sky". This was spun the last time I visited the club in January and felt like cheating then, being neither psychedelia or garage in the strictest sense of the word, but being blasted through a proper PA system the track always sounds wonderful. Home listening never quite seems to capture the pulsing, repetitive urgency of it, but there are precious few places you can visit where it will work its way on to a DJ's playlist.

Obscure track of the evening on this occasion was Alan Avon and Toyshop's "A Night To Remember". I'm not a fan of it, actually, and nobody danced to it, but I'm always entertained by the curveballs some DJs like to throw into their sets.

Beyond the fact that the evening was much more crowded this time than last, little seemed to have changed beyond the presence of rather more mods on this occasion. This can be bad news in that mods do tend to have a nasty habit of judging a person by their evening wear, but almost all seemed to enter into the spirit of the occasion and were perfectly friendly. I'm also starting to see people I recognise from previous visits in the club now, which is rare for me. Perhaps it's because the 13th Floor Club officially has the friendliest toilet queue in London - although you tend to be stood in it forever, waiting for one of two cubicles to become available, so I suppose chat is preferable to awkward silences.

I only hope this night can continue without being hijacked by a self-conscious set or ruined at any point soon. It does what it does extremely well, and I don't think it needs any additional help.

The hunt for Erotic Volvo

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 19:58:37 GMT

It's an ongoing inconvenience in my life that a lot of people I like in both the world of poetry and music seem to get gigs in venues I care rather less for. It's an ongoing disparity. I've waffled on about the Old Crown pub's status on the poetry circuit for so long that I'm beginning to bore even myself, but I've perhaps talked less about how little I like the "legendary" 100 Club on Oxford Street, which is right at the other end of the spectrum, in the red zone labelled "scuffed up beyond belief". Even as a teenager I disliked the place. Yes, people will tell you, but it's so delightfully authentic and tumbledown. It looks as if it hasn't been decorated since 1973. "Precisely", I'll reply.

Actually, my descriptions of the 100 Club could go further than that. Not only does it look as if it hasn't been decorated since 1973, it also looks as if it hasn't quite been tidied up or repaired after a wild working man's club party where the orange plastic chairs and wobbly formica top tables took some slight damage. It's not the end of the world, obviously - I don't necessarily expect plushness from gig venues, but if they're going for the whole "earthy" vibe, I would at least like them to perhaps try to go beyond the community hall look. A good band can transcend a trashy environment, but why give them the challenge in the first place? The 12 Bar on Denmark Street has exactly the right idea about how to look authentic and old-school without looking as if the painters and decorators last visit pre-dated the pub rock movement.

The evening manages to get off to a bad start as one of the doormen/ bouncers takes exception to me entering the venue a whole two minutes before they're ready, sending me outside again to wait behind the door like a naughty boy. I don't want to quibble, but it's not so much the problem as the way he addresses it - with aggressive and sarcastic tones. When I was a teenager I looked forward to the day where I wouldn't be shepherded around by bouncers in a condescending way anymore. That day never came. My older self feels impotent about this outcome. I could raise a complaint about shoddy customer service values, but I think it would fall on deaf ears. There's not really anything you can say to these people. "Excuse me, my good man, but I think you might find that your shabby little gig venue might stand rather more of a chance in the harsh London climate if you utilised some manners around your customers" probably wouldn't wash. I'm half tempted to try it, just to see if it stuns him into silence, then think better of it when I realise it would be likely to get a more forthright response.

Still, it's always a happy night when Misty's Big Adventure do a gig in London, irrespective of the location or the gatekeepers. Last night they were minus their giant blue dancing "creature" Erotic Volvo, the many-handed, wild-eyed gibbering thing who regularly dives into the audience to dance with random strangers. He was voted "worst band mascot" by staff at the NME recently, which is a bit unfair - his absence makes one thing very apparent, which is that he was indeed responsible for a certain volume of the atmosphere the band created. Without Erotic Volvo, the audience seem to take longer to be persuaded to dance, and even the band themselves seem a bit more subdued than usual. You expect that kind of result from a lead guitarist who has been replaced by a session musician, but it's surprising to note that somebody who has previously been dismissed as "Bez-like" makes such a big difference. I hope his absence is only temporary.

A slightly below par Misty's Big Adventure gig still kicks the performances of almost all other bands into touch, of course, and this one is aided by their inclusion of a "Greatest Hits" set, playing each and every one of their singles back to back. It's a reminder of how long their career has plodded on for. When I first saw them at the 12 Bar back in 2002, I was convinced that they were destined for greater things and within a couple of years would be playing the Astoria as a headline act. That they're still only playing the 100 Club is something I will always find baffling. When "Fashion Parade" kicks in, it sounds every inch like a lost hit single - in fact, perhaps if they'd chosen a topic for the lyrics which revolved around something other than criticising the more fashionable bands around them, it would have stood a chance. A great big brassy pop tune criticising the playlist favourites of XFM was never, ever going to break through in the way it deserved, although perhaps we can listen to it in years to come and laugh amongst ourselves when the careers of the Kaiser Chiefs are up.

I'm stunned by the band as always, although I've given up on the idea that they're ever going to have anything other than a marginal cult following. As long as they can afford to look after themselves, I'll be happy - perhaps there's something to be said for setting up direct debit schemes for any bands we feel might become airbrushed out of existence in the present conservative music scene. I'd happily drop them a couple of hundred pounds a year just to keep going forward. In this Internet driven age, would it be too much to ask for a website where we could drop funds in the direction of bands in return for the odd T-shirt, exclusive album, the guarantees of gigs in usually ignored far flung towns and perhaps a special mug? Have I invented the future here, or just thought of a concept which belongs way back in the past (the fan club)? You tell me.

Reports of the death of the NME have been exaggerated (unfortunately)

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 13:21:27 GMT

The NME is not dead, contrary to continual Internet rumours, but by gum it certainly is looking a bit peaky:

http://entertainment.time.../music/article3497298.ece

As much as reading the NME was an obsession for me at one point in my life (although I preferred Melody Maker, I would actually buy both weekly) I can't see that there's very much to mourn here. The paper has moved so far from its original purposes and incarnation that it's hard to trace any easy way back. It was also difficult to see it at the time, but the rot really did set in around Britpop - that was the exact point where an obsession with image and sales developed over and above the outsiders they used to champion. Journalists began to talking to bands about "disappointing sales" continually at that point, and by the time The Spice Girls were on the front page, it was all over bar the shouting. The emphasis had shifted irreversibly.

Unlike The Teardrop Explodes, Joy Division, Echo and the Bunnymen, The Mondays, The Stone Roses (whose debut only sold a few hundred thousand in its first year, and at a slow, constant trickle), even in fact the Pistols and the Clash, Blur and Oasis were big, generation gap jumping, tabloid headline grabbing, sellers. "Morning Glory" sold beyond Simply Red levels, and "Parklife" certainly didn't do that badly either. You could argue that The Sex Pistols defined a generation more and are now seen as a "classic band", but they alienated the straight kids and almost all parents completely at the time. Unless you were a certain age and of a certain disposition, they were an utter turn-off. The NME celebrated things like that (eventually, though they were frequently slow on the uptake) and understood that its audience wanted "rebel oddball outsiders" and intelligent commentary rather than world-beating, Bono-threatening champions, and more tedious stories about cocaine use. Unlike their predecessors, though, and probably against the magazine's original expectations, Oasis and Blur crossed boundaries. The uncles and aunts of the stadium terrace chanters who got off on Oasis would have been completely disturbed and alienated by most of the NME favourites from 67 to 77, and possibly well into the eighties too. David Bowie would have been far too effiminate for them to cope with, Lou Reed too intelligent and perverse, the Prog bands far too awkward. Whilst many of these acts crossed over on a pop level, for most of their careers they were truly niche performers with sales propped up by hardcore fanbases.

The one moment in the sun where the NME was suddenly "big news" (on the UK Nine O Clock News for the Blur v Oasis battle) changed the way both IPC and the editors thought about the magazine. It wasn't about interesting, intelligent bands anymore (or at the very least bands with pretensions towards intelligence). It became about giant backstage parties, and coke sniffed off toilet seats and ROCK AND ROLL!!! As soon as those reports began to shift more units, it caused the paper to really lose its way, slowly but surely.

And lest we forget, before we get too weepy-eyed about the death of Melody Maker, we must remember that it too pulled the trigger on itself. The MM revamp of the late nineties (where it became a tabloid sized colour magazine) really wasn't far off the NME of today. That folded as a result of its attempts to get a cool teen market, and you would have thought the marketing folk at Time Warner would have given that a bit of thought before going sexy sticker and poster crazy with its sister paper. Or perhaps they thought what went wrong last time was just that they ran posters of the wrong people... which at least would explain why Sophie Ellis Bextor hasn't featured so prominently this time (unfortunately for me).

Norman "Hurricane" Smith

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 13:18:41 GMT

I'm still exhausted from the conference I attended and had no intention of doing a journal update today at all, but then I received the rather sad news that the producer Norman Smith died over the weekend. This probably means very little to most of you, and that's actually a huge shame - besides engineering a large bulk of The Beatles output in the sixties, he also has Pink Floyd's first two albums on his production CV, and equally notably the Pretty Things "SF Sorrow is Born" which is one of the finer albums of the period.

Norman Smith was nicknamed "Normal Smith" by John Lennon, largely due to his rather straight, middle aged attitudes and appearance. In the sixties the Abbey Road studios contingent were still quite conservative, technically minded chaps in white lab coats or smart suits, doing their best to understand and bring out the best from wave upon wave of new musical trends (and to get some idea about the advances in technology and styles, think about how far rock music jumped from the earliest Merseybeat pop bands in 62/63 to the approaching rumbles of hard rock and heavy metal in 69 - such enormous changes would be almost unthinkable in one decade now). Some of the sound boffins coped, others didn't, but all the evidence shows that Norman Smith handled change far better than most, and certainly far better than his appearances would suggest. Pink Floyd were doubtful that Smith "understood" the way they worked during the recording of "Saucerful of Secrets", but the Pretty Things "SF Sorrow" just shows how much he learned and how many of the stylings were quite definably his, and how much he had to offer - so much so that The Pretty Things named him as almost being an honorary member at that point. Also, in total fairness to the man, for all Saucerful's strengths I doubt the Floyd really knew what they wanted in the period immediately following Syd Barrett's expulsion, let alone how to communicate it to a producer.

In a further odd twist, Norman Smith went on to have a couple of hit singles himself in the seventies. He originally wrote "Don't Let It Die" as a songwriter's demo, and found EMI were keen enough to issue his version, which promptly got to number two in the British charts. Hence he's probably one of the very few people who first tasted chart success in his own right by the time he was in his fifties. It's a rather sugary, Saltwatery, Lennon-esque piece of work, but quite likeable, and I include it as a download here just to commemorate him. If you really want to get a measure of his finest achievements, though, I'd recommend rushing out to get copies of "SF Sorrow" or "Piper at the Gates of Dawn" now though, if you haven't already got them.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=JFM71LUT

Call of the Conference

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 16:27:00 GMT

I'm presently up in Scotland organising various bits and pieces around a major conference, and Jesus Christ it's hard work as always. If there's one thing anybody should learn about doing a job like this, it's not to be fooled by offers of free meals and drinks - there is indeed no such thing as a free lunch. If it's free, it's because somebody wants to talk to you about work for a very long time indeed (until eleven in the evening in some cases) and has decided to throw in some steamed seabass to sweeten the deal. You will feel replete, I can assure you of that, but you'll be much more tired than if you'd stuck to the ham sandwich on hotel room service. Be warned. When people say "It will just be half an hour of chat until we settle down to getting drunk, ha ha", it's never the truth. If it's just half an hour of chat they want, they can give it to you in a meeting room for a mere fraction of the cost. And if you get drunk with business associates anyway, it will always end in tears (sometimes literally) and possibly a loss of confidence in your work. Do you see? No, don't thank me, it's what I'm here for.

And whilst I was here, I got thinking about the muzak hotels and conference suites use. You see, my hotel bar is rather uniquely using the Easy Star All Stars album "Radiodread" as its muzak. Available only on import in the UK, this particular disc consists entirely of (actually extremely good) reggae and dub reinterpretations of the "OK Computer" album. As muzak, however, it's oddly distracting, especially if you're in a hotel on business. One thing sure to put you off your work is a bunch of ranting Thom Yorke lyrics about the evil of men in suits and their unnecessary meetings. Perhaps the hotel manager is being subversive, but I would ask him or her to reconsider their choice of soundtrack. It makes me feel uneasy.

Continuing the topic, I would also add the following songs to the list of things which should never ever be used again for hopefully obvious reasons:

Lighthouse Family - Lifted. Gentle Jesus, make it stop. This is usually used to soundtrack concepts which are meant to reassure and relax mature people. Holidays, political parties (who aren't, like, Evil), Health Spas, old people's homes, in fact just about fucking anything that generates tranquility rather than excitement over the last ten years it seems. The Lighthouse Family must be a very happy clan. I hope their lighthouse gets fucking decommissioned by the Government like all the others, myself. I've heard enough. And it better had not be a "listed coastal building" either.

Republica - Ready To Go. Quite the opposite of the Lighthouse Family's opus, this one. This is constantly used to generate youthful excitement, except of course it sounds like what it is - a bunch of mature chancers in a studio attempting to sound like thirteen year olds having a sugar rush after swallowing too many Nerds. It says nothing of consequence("shoutin' out.. baby, I'm ready to go... on the rooftop... yeah"), makes a bunch of stupid pre-programmed synth noises, pounds away, then disappears again, presumably making it an easy choice to soundtrack footage of people - I dunno - skiing, falling off mountainsides (hopefully), jogging, enthusiastically scribbling down business plans, flying in helicopters... whatever.

I would like to say that I wouldn't like either band to go without a pension, but the reality is that actually I wish they did have to do proper jobs for a living. Proper jobs that involve going out to events and having to hear their drivel broadcast to an entire room all day and night, so they'd finally understand how bloody insufferable it all becomes.

If I were a dictator, I would ban all music in advertising and promotional clips. We might appreciate it more then. Except in the case of Republica and The Lighthouse Family, of course, I doubt it would seem like a better prospect under any restrictive circumstances.

But they weren't The Beat... They were quite clearly The Look...

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 22:25:04 GMT

Not too long ago on this 'ere blog, I flagged up Marshall Hain's "Dancing In The City" as being a one hit wonder from my childhood which brought me endless pleasure... now it's time for another one...

For verily (as Sir Jimmy Saville might say) it is The Look on Top of the Pops with their sole hit single "I Am The Beat". It would seem that there are two bands called "The Look" - one is a Detroit based supergroup, who this lot most definitely aren't. Who these blokes are I'm really none too sure. They're a band who appeared to have been more or less erased from musical history, without even a brief Wikipedia mention to their name. However, I can reveal the following facts:

a/ MCA issued "I Am The Beat" as being the world's first infinite single. The run out grooves played the end refrain repetitively in a loop until you chose to either lift the arm of the needle, eject the record, your needle wore down, or there was some sort of power cut, possibly caused by a nuclear war years in the future. A completely pointless and actually downright irritating gimmick, of course, as I highly doubt anybody actually kept the record revolving for 24 hours chanting "beat" to themselves and clapping their hands in a crazed manner, not unless they were attempting some sort of early eighties New Wave hypnosis.

b/ The Look had one follow up single, "Feeding Time", which bothered the top 75 briefly. I heard it once as a child, and now can't remember it. Sorry. The album both tracks are from received an extremely positive review from Smash Hits, announcing to the world that fans of Squeeze and XTC in particular would love the contents of the disc, but I've never seen a copy anywhere, and therefore cannot verify this.

c/ The Look seemed to be part of a whole slurry of slightly retro bands riding The Jam's coat-tails during this period - along with The Lambrettas, Secret Affair, The Dots, etc. etc. most of whom are barely ever heard these days, but did indeed trouble the top ten quite seriously (well, The Lambrettas and Secret Affair managed, anyway).

The video clip above has dreadful sound, so if you really want to hear the magic for yourself, click on the video-less YouTube clip below. For my money, it's further evidence that the present set of XFM approved bands rolling through really could have existed in 1981 or 1982 without anyone batting an eyelid - but I can see why I loved this track so much when I was barely out of short trousers. It's a tremendously insistent, pounding tune, and it's actually extremely surprising it's so seldom heard now.

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 23:43:46 GMT

I was running through my poetry in the kitchen on Wednesday night, just in front of the pop-up toaster - this is a common scenario in the Dave household, right up there with me clipping my fingernails whilst listening to The Fall's "Middle Class Revolt" - when Amanda made an unexpected appearance. She wanted to know, not unreasonably, what I was doing. You would think that she'd be used to such things by now, but our five year relationship still brings many surprises.

I explained that I was rehearsing my Apples and Snakes set, and that I was worried that I would have to drop a poem from it because I was presently running over time.
"Are you doing 'Newport Pagnell'?" she asked.
I replied in the affirmative.
"Why not lose that one, then?" she suggested.
I asked her why. She replied along the lines of "Well, if you have to lose one, it may as well be that one, y'know..." desperately skirting around the whole issue. In fact, she never did explain to me properly why she doesn't like "Newport Pagnell". I think she was keen to avoid a long late night discussion about its relative merits, or lack thereof, and was worried about hurting my feelings. If the truth be told, I'm rather indifferent to it myself, but in terms of audience response it's been one of the stronger poems since it was last introduced a year ago.

In fact, I didn't just include "Newport Pagnell" on the night, I actually opened with it. I told Amanda this was the plan, and she looked at me very doubtfully indeed. And I don't know if it was Amanda's look of lingering doubt in my direction that did it and filled my brain with subconscious fears, or the interests of the audience, or some other mysterious random factor I've never even considered, but indeed it is safe to say that they did not seem to especially enjoy their entire poetry evening being opened with a prolonged diatribe about the relative shortcomings of being stuck on a motorway near a satellite town of Milton Keynes. People stared at me rather curiously. The lines that normally go down well were ignored. Far from being the immediate icebreaker it normally is, the poem went down as a wrongfoot which would cripple the fittest, youngest athlete. Perhaps in a library environment in front of a small audience it seemed tactless, rude and misjudged - I remain unsure. Answers in a comment, please. And if I really should drop "Newport Pagnell", for the love of God please let me know now because I can easily live without it. It certainly doesn't work as a published piece.

In truth, I always find library readings or performances very difficult to judge. No matter how much they like a poet, library audiences will usually just clap politely rather than cheer enthusiastically (and trust me, they really did like some of the acts on the bill on Thursday night, rushing over to tell them so). The postures of a library audience are normally somewhat different too. As one of the acts of the evening pointed out, they tend to tilt their heads slightly and smile indulgently like small children, and those expressions will remain fixed throughout the set. Perhaps being in a library space reminds them of being children at school again. The bottom line, however, is that at the end of the night, nobody comes over to tell me how much they liked my work, or to ask about weblinks or work for sale. This is the first time this has happened in at least a year, so by the standards of other recent gigs it can only be deemed a failure. Usually even at my worst received gigs where I'm supporting somebody utterly inappropriate or just being downright inept there will be at least one outcast who enjoyed what I did enough to come over and tell me so - but not on this occasion. I'm left a bit lonely at the end of the evening as people walk straight past me avoiding my gaze to go and praise the other acts on the bill, and I feel like a sulky Michael Barrymoore having a fit of self-doubt (even though I've nothing in common with him and obviously I'm not doing comedy).

What went wrong? The truth be told, I don't really know. It didn't feel like an appalling set to me whilst I was going through it, and I was determined to carry on as normal and think I succeeded. Perhaps I should have read the signs better and changed tack. Perhaps if I heard a recording of it I might be able to pinpoint areas where I lost the audience and why, but it didn't sound much to me like an atypical gig, there seemed to be enough people looking on attentively, and it seemed like the sort of thing which would have worked on other occasions. I fluffed the lines of "A Year In Morse" slightly, but beyond that it felt focussed enough. Or perhaps I was just on a bill filled with poets who have had much more acclaim than me, and it was a simple case of being first on in the evening, and being quickly forgotten about. I have no easy answers, which is interesting because usually I do. On this occasion, I don't actually feel as if I have much to apologise for, so, er... sorry and all that, but... if you wanted "bad", I don't think that was it. I could think of several nights I've done in the last two years which would have deserved that kind of response, but not necessarily this one.

If there was one good thing about the evening (besides the chance to finally do an Apples and Snakes gig) it was actually getting to perform in Bishopsgate Library. Believe it or not, I used to actually do research work there for a job I had with the local council, and had to stop when my role was downgraded and became basic admin. That experience almost directly inspired the "Slow Death of Another Trade" poem, and if nothing else I actually got a chance to close the circle and rant about a situation whose frustration had partly been inspired by the library's very existence. I can think of few other similar opportunities I've ever been given - if I'd attempted the same stunt outside the format of a poetry reading, chances are I'd have been arrested, or at the very least told quite sternly to pipe down by a duty librarian. People normally pay for such catharsis, being paid for it should be beyond my dreams.

I'm reluctant to review the other acts on the bill in depth, since I think analysing a bunch of poets you were on the same bill as is a wee bit rude, but I can report that they were all good in very different ways. Obviously I sound like somebody who hasn't turned on Radio Four since 1992, but I haven't heard Jude Simpson in years and was surprised by how much she'd changed since the pub years when we last shared a bill together. Her comic poem epics have been honed down a lot into more immediate works, and she cuts a charming presence, seeming really at ease with herself and relaxing the audience into her own world. Jasmine Cooray was brilliant, delivering some extremely thoughtful, considered and poignant work, and Talking Tekla the Narrata exploded like a anti-terrorist's suitcase packed only with slightly overwhelming joy and enthusiasm. Is that a naff description? Hey, it probably is, but it's late at night.

The event didn't sell out, but I think it's a good one, and if Bishopsgate Library and A&S carry on with this scheme, you should definitely come on down to the next one. If nothing else, Bishopsgate library is one of my favourite ones in London, always shining and freshly scrubbed clean, but still looking like something out of a 1950s spy film, all low metal lampshades, shining green tiles and oak panelling. It's a brilliant place to hear poetry. In fact, it's a fantastic place just to research architecture and social history, and I'm sorry I don't get the opportunity to do that much anymore. I almost feel nostaglic now.

My Dave, that's a nasty cough you have there...

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 13:22:44 GMT

A major reminder coming up for a gig I'm doing tomorrow night... Apples and Snakes have contacted me to assure me that there are certainly tickets left for anyone who is worried about that sort of thing (*coughs*) and it would be lovely to see as many of you there on the night as possible (*cough cough*).

For anyone who needs the information again:

Don't Shush Me! - an Apples and Snakes Event
Bishopsgate Institute
230 Bishopsgate
London, London and South East EC2M 4QH

£7 Entrance Fee, £5 concessions

7:30pm

Poetry in the library with BBC3/ Radio 4 comic poetry performer Jude Simpson, Talking Tekla the Narrata, Dave Bryant and Jasmine Cooray.

To drum up more support I traipsed to Poetry Unplugged again on Tuesday night. Like it or not, this is going to be my last appearance there for awhile, given that I'm away in Glasgow next week doing a major conference for my dayjob, and I'll probably be recovering from the enormo-shifts I've had to do the week after that. People think that going away to do conferences must be fun, and they're not without their charms, but anyone who thinks I have a greater knowledge about Edinburgh, Glasgow, Chelmsford or Cardiff after doing any of these things in any of those places is sadly deluding themselves - I generally only tend to see my hotel room, the car park, and the venue the event is being held in. As somebody who is partly responsible for making sure that certain aspects run smoothly, sometimes I'm still on my feet until quite late at night, and then I generally just crash out in my room. It could be worse, but let's just say that if I allowed myself to get severely hungover I just wouldn't function on an average day. It's really not much of a jolly for people working behind the scenes, although I can consider it a success if 90% of the attendees feel that it has been.

Anyway, on the topic of poetry - as we were - I have to say that whilst a lot of the newcomers to the London scene are indeed very direct and not heavy on imagery or metaphors (as I said last week) I'm increasingly impressed with the slickness and style of a lot of people who have barely been involved for five minutes. Unplugged is highlighting quite a few of these, as are numerous other events up and down London. For as long as this continues, nobody needs to worry that a lot of the more successful poets now seem to have abandoned bothering with open mics. It seems that even as an observer you're still likely to see some good material on any given night, as random and unpredictable as these things are. Keep it up, say I.

Analogue Dialogue

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 13:07:14 GMT

Grandmaster Gareth's blog on Misty's Big Adventure's Myspace site has alerted me to the below link, which is an absolutely unbelieveable MP3 resource of all things library music, especially the more electronic, Moog orientated stuff:

http://www.vintagelibraryemporium.blogspot.com

Boards of Canada and Stereolab fans should particularly be interested. All some of this material needs is a few wobbles and muffled samples, and it's away... I've downloaded one track called "Analogue Dialogue" which is downright terrifying, to be honest, a screeching squeal of conflicting Moog noises which is likely to upset both you and your cat's ears. Besides that you might find some odd jingle gems, with some often ridiculous titles, or a lot of melodic washes which seem unsettling for reasons you can't quite discern. It's a complete lucky dip, obviously, and the quantity of material on offer does make it hard to decide where to head first, but you're sure to find something of interest nesting deep within the blog.

Snake! Snake! Ohhhh, it's a snake...

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 13:43:12 GMT

I attended an Apples and Snakes open mic last night. They are peculiar affairs, I have to say. No sooner had I walked through the bar doors of the Whitechapel Gallery last night than I realised that (initially, at least) there wasn't a single person I knew there apart from Apples and Snakes staff. I wouldn't want to register any complaints about this, as I'm all in favour of being surprised by new voices, but it's a perplexing phenomenon. When the hosts asked audience members "who have ever been to an Apples and Snakes open mic before" to raise their hands, I was one of the only people present who actually did. A pattern establishes itself quite quickly about the habits of this particular strand of open micers - They come, they read, they go, they seldom return to the circuit again unless they're booked for a longer gig on the spot.

An explanation can perhaps be found in that a lot of people do regard these sessions as being an audition for Apples and Snakes gigs. You can witness the occasional person pacing up and down, psyching themselves up for their turn on the mic, hoping that they'll be noticed and will get further work. Again, we shouldn't penalise ambition, but it seems like an odd approach, rather like recording a shit hot demo tape for your band, then only sending it to one record company. Or perhaps I'm out of touch and hanging around the wrong places.

For all the above, the quality of the sessions is much the same as any other London open mic night. These evenings tend to attract much more urban voices, some of whom are extremely good at what they do, others of whom resort to the same tired cliches. Beyond those, it's the usual mix of comic verse, "straight" poetry, oddness and loudness that you'd find anywhere. A personal highpoint for me was when a girl who cannot have been much older than twelve or thirteen took the mic at her parent's behest and delivered some urban poetry which was actually far, far better than most contributors on the night who were at least ten years older. I've only witnessed this happen once before in my life, and just like the last occasion, the response from the audience was delightful - a combination of genuine, good-hearted applause, with the slight subtle noises of gritted teeth underneath as numerous people thought to themselves "Oh dear, I've just been upstaged by a child..." There's nothing like a prodigy to really create radical reassessments of worth.

As for me, I ended up with a lot right near the end of the second half. A frustrating and unhappy pattern established itself throughout the evening, with many performers over-running their agreed times in their desperate quest for attention. This left people like me with only time to do one poem, and also meant numerous people on the reserve list didn't get a chance to read. I've whined about this behaviour time and time again on here and elsewhere, and it's a shame people don't realise that not only does it create ill feeling amongst other poets, it's actually widely disliked by promoters as well. By over-running, you're proving to them that you're unreliable and prone to messing their events up, not that you have a wealth of fantastic material that they really should be investigating further. It's also noticeable (and tremendously unfortunate) that the most interesting poets of the evening [i]didn't[/i] take liberties with their slots, whereas the ones with poor editing skills and precious little new to say did. Not too long ago some open mic nights introduced Talent Show styled gongs or bells for people who over-ran, but this idea was quickly dropped when it became apparent that many people got aggressive and argumentative when they were interrupted. I fail to see why. If you don't know how long your poem is, time it, and see if it fits in with the host's requirements. There's no need to get shirty. That attitude certainly won't win you a gig either.

Poetry Unplugged Part XXXXXVI (and that Max travel blogger chap)

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 13:45:46 GMT

Another Tuesday, another open mic. Normally this kind of routine is not in my nature, not outside of the general workplace. Most often Tuesday will roll around and I'll decide whether or not I want to do a poetry open mic base purely upon how tired I am, how cold or hot it is outside, whether there are any delays on the tube lines, or whether I have anything new to try out in front of an audience. With a major gig coming up, though, I have to keep both the night promoted and myself in practice, so it's all a bit different.

I have nothing of particular interest to report back about last night. Suffice to say, my stuff seemed reasonably enthusiastically received, and the atmosphere was much calmer than the one-off noise-a-thon that occurred last week, which now seems to have been just a temporary blip on the Poetry Unplugged radar. There were some solid performances in particular from Farrago stalwart John Paul O'Neill who delivered a poem about a woman who left him for a Marketing Executive, which actually managed to be more poignant than bitter to my ears - an achievement I don't think I could have managed under a similar set of circumstances. Hollie McNish is apparently doing a radio show with him at www.openair.fm, and delivered a very venomous attack on women's magazines which I enjoyed and agreed with in equal measure, and Toby Davies showed his face with yet another energetic and mic stand collapsing performance.

There appears to be a trend right now amongst the newer poets to do very direct work which isn't particularly strong on imagery, which creates a slight lack of variation at these nights, but I don't think we should be too surprised. The most popular people amongst the present wave of performance poets are doing similar work, and so their influence is likely to be felt quite strongly for awhile amongst people unfamiliar to the circuit until they all absorb the different influences. The fact that Unplugged has been consistently packed with people wanting to have a go at delivering something for months now is a good sign in itself, not a bad one. Ask me if I'm still worried about similar styles in two years time, and then maybe I'll have a different opinion.

On another subject, since Friday an argument has been raging about Max, the travel blogger who can be found on this Internet link here:

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/travelog/2008/02/skins_blog.html

I haven't bothered commenting on his piece at all, and nor did I add my voice to the numerous other Internet types slating him on different blog sites, purely because I didn't really have anything new to add to the argument. What has rattled my cage a bit since, however, is the Guardian and BBC's suggestion that the responses received were due to "class envy". Obviously there's a degree of truth to this. I doubt Max would have received the same attention if he'd been a welder from Portsmouth writing about travel. He probably would have received a few miffed comments for being an appalling writer, but I'd be willing to bet the quantity of them wouldn't have been quite so worrying.

This flippant and sneering response does skirt around the issue of class in Britain at the moment, though, and how it appears to be re-establishing itself in the media and arts in particular. It's a reality that most newspapers, magazines and publishing houses now depend on "work experience" (or essentially free labour) for long periods of time before considering offering the office guinea pigs jobs. Virgin Media were once known for giving out unpaid work experience deals that lasted a whole year. The NUJ tried to quash this activity at one publishing house I worked at, asking them to depend less on freelancers and work experience boys and girls, only for the company to find a loophole by introducing lots of short term contracts instead (after which you usually found yourself out on your arse after a few months). Therefore, there really aren't many opportunities for people from the working classes and even lower middle classes to establish themselves any more. Unless you have family money to fall back on, working for free is something which can only really be considered possible for brief periods of time. Don't try to fall back on the DSS for help either - I asked them if they'd support me during a period of work experience, and their actual response was "No. No. We really don't like that. They should pay you." Obviously that solved nothing.

Given the above, it's perhaps not too surprising that people are noticing a strong middle class bias in the media, and a narrower range of topics and concerns addressed. The fact that the son of a Guardian scribe can also be given a column despite an obvious lack of talent is also obviously going to create an upset. Anyone wanting the press to now take note and address the issues of class and regional bias should obviously not hold their collective breath - until things change radically, we'll be stuck in middle class North London for a very long time, hearing endless stories about gap years, what dresses not to wear, and interior design. Existing in a ghetto of their own, socialising only with each other, the modern media is a sorry, inward looking beast which has never been more out of touch with the lives of most people in this country, and has certainly never been more pompous and unapologetic about it.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, poetry has suffered from a bias towards the upper middle classes for years - any art form which offers next-to-no career prospects at all will obviously always have a degree of this. It does sadden me that in London in particular at present, though, there seem to be fewer performers from ordinary backgrounds coming through than ever before. Even a few of the more slam/ street performers are actually not as earthy in origin as they may initially appear. I wouldn't want to stop people from being creative due to their social backgrounds, but the lack of other blood coming through at present points towards other problems, amongst which I would list university fees causing fewer working class arts students to come through, the fact that many people of certain backgrounds can no longer afford to live in London, and perhaps a certain lack of encouragement in modern society as well. Things are getting worse all round, not better. I don't have a simple or immediate solution, but I really don't want poetry to become an elitist art-form - or remain one, depending upon your personal perspective.

And as for Max - pah, these are just the usual knocks you get working in the media, pal, you'll get over them if you really want to carry on writing. If the blows weren't going to come to you one way, it was inevitable you'd feel their sharp sting in another.

Don't Shush Me!

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 13:21:17 GMT

I just thought I'd post a quick reminder about the gig on 28 February at Bishopsgate Institute - starting 7:30pm, I'll also be appearing with Jude Simpson, Talking Tekla the Narrata and Jasmine Cooray. It is seven pounds to get in through the door (five pounds concessions) but you do get a free glass of wine...

Whilst it may seem terribly unprofessional and almost certainly a bit too honest to admit it, I have to say that I'm extremely excited about this one. At the risk of underselling myself or making myself seem like an old lag, I must confess that I first contacted Apples and Snakes about doing a gig eleven years ago, and it's taken this long for anything to materialise. They were always curious about what I did, but as I think they've been through two changes of management since that fateful nineties day when I first sent them off a bunch of poems, I suspect that my initial approach has long since been forgotten.

Whatever the size of the gig - and this is just a library event, so it won't be massive - it's impossible not to feel as if I'm ticking a box here for something I've always wanted to do in my life. Even when I first moved to London in the nineties, doing an Apples and Snakes gig was something I always had in the back of my mind as a localised ambition, so having the chance to finally go ahead does feel like an achievement. My main aim now is obviously to make sure it's a memorable appearance.

The last time I supported Jude Simpson way back in 2002, it was in a quaint, homely pub in Deptford - the kind of place where they happily sold home made biscuits at the bar. It was an odd gig to say the least. I was sandwiched between her and Stanley Knill on the bill, both of whom specialised in their own particular brands of stand-up comedy/ poetry, in direct contrast with my style. As I remember it, none of us went down particularly well. A mad drunk wandered in off the street during Stanley's set and began shouting over the top of him about some nonsense he couldn't even logically respond to. I wasn't treated to such random disturbances, but I do remember it being a very odd evening. Here's hoping the second support slot runs a bit more smoothly. If you have any drunken tramp friends, please leave them at home this time. They won't be able to afford the seven pounds to get in anyway...

It's probably wrong... to break from your kiss to turn up a pop song

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 13:13:58 GMT

Art Brut's new EP "Pump Up The Volume" is apparently available on ITunes now, and not before time... in my view, this would have made much more sense as the first single from the "It's a Bit Complicated" album, and had it actually been scheduled as the first outing the CD might have broken the Top 75 at least.

In the meantime, here's the video, apparently shot in Sydney. Top quality stuff.

Memories....

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 13:36:32 GMT

Another trip was made to Poetry Unplugged last night in an attempt to firm things up for the forthcoming Apples and Snakes appearance. This time, I did something very unusual in that I delivered some "learned" material. I appreciate that this might not sound very bizarre to many of you, so for the uninitiated I may as well add that there are two types of performance poets on the circuit (or so it seems). Those who think that all material [i]must[/i] be learned to have maximum stage impact, and those that think that those who deliver the material from memory are often missing the point. The counter-argument is that the "know thy script" brigade frequently appear unexcited by their own work, very obviously blethering it out in a dispassionate "de-dum-de-dum-de-dum" style from rote, and often throwing in unnecessary and actorly flourishes to the performance which take the audience away from the emotional impact of what they've done.

For what it's worth, most of my favourite stage poets throughout history didn't learn their work. Bob Cobbing certainly didn't, and he ranks as my number one favourite - he would make each appearance fresh and different, and sometimes translate his work in entirely different ways from the page depending on what night you saw him. Mike Diss (who no longer performs) always read from the page, and was frequently one of the most exciting and invigorating poets on the London circuit, filling his work with high speed energy which a learned delivery might have taken the edge off. In fact, the insistence of knowing your work from memory is actually a very recent trend, more demanded from the new ex-drama school and drama degree types (and failed stand-ups) on the circuit than the people who were present and laying the foundation down for this two decades ago. Back then, it wasn't about "theatre" so much as appreciating that performance poetry was a genre in its own right, with its own rhythms, speeds, and rules, using the printed word as a springboard. Do I sound angry or bitter here? Well... I confess my feelings on this subject aren't that strong, and that relying so much upon "reading" hasn't really stunted me that much so far (that I'm aware of) but I do sometimes find it frustrating that people aren't aware of the background, and don't understand that it's a valid choice which has a lot of precedents.

So then... learning my material is something I've shied away from for two reasons. The main one is that a lot of my work is very high speed indeed. If you go over to MySpace and listen to "Night Thoughts of the Solo Sleeper", there's a ton of lightning pace material which forms the basis of the central part, and whilst this could be learned, my memory speed is slower than my reading speed. This could be resolved by learning the poem so well that it's second nature, almost like breathing, but that would, for me personally, take away a lot of the impact of it. I doubt I could ever deliver it as well again.

Secondly, I've always liked performers to have a book or even sheets of paper on stage with them. This isn't pure theatre after all, and I'd rather see some evidence of excitement, spontaneity and rawness than a very calculated and rehearsed performance which sometimes seems dispassionate. There are some people who still manage to keep the spirit of their work alive anyway (Niall Spooner Harvey is one of them) but quite a few who possibly aren't aware of the fact that their eyes occasionally flick skyward or go all glassy when they're doing this stuff, like small children reciting the multiplication tables. In much the same manner, I have a huge downer on many poets who "act" their poems onstage, hiding behind the masks of characters to shield themselves from the ideas expressed in their own work. It just seems cowardly to me, like removing one's self from the work in case it's challenged. I appreciate we all have an on-stage persona to a certain extent, but there are boundaries which are frequently crossed which I personally find aggravating.

Thirdly, oh let's be honest... I don't feel as comfortable being on mic without my book, or my notes... and I never seem to be as well received whenever I do it... so perhaps it's me who is hiding after all.

Anyway, to get to the point - the expected happened. I delivered "Newport Pagnell" without the aid of notes, and got through it without any problems at all, but the audience response for it was much more muted this time. For the sake of avoiding arguments I'm more than happy to keep a certain percentage of the set "learned" in future, so I can do it whenever it's called upon, but this really isn't something I want to invest a lot of time into when there's new material to write, publishers to send things to, and other such priorities outside my usual working hours. I refuse, point blank, to learn the fifty or so poems that regularly make an appearance in my set depending on the occasion or mood, as well as all the new ones when they also come to light. If somebody wants to give me an arts grant which allows me to quit my dayjob and do this, then fine - otherwise, forget it.

Unplugged itself was also very odd last night, full of very chatty people who had to regularly be coerced into piping down by the host Niall O'Sullivan, and a few hecklers. I was quite grateful to get some practice in dealing with a slightly restless and unco-operative audience, but I doubt many of the nervous newcomers found it as easy going as it usually is there. It was almost as if a coachload of Hoxtonites had arrived for the evening. Oh well.

British Telecom Suck (but not as much as their competitors)

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 12:52:47 GMT

The last two months have been absurd for me, in that for the first time in years I've been Internet-free at home. It wasn't planned of course. The run of events could best be summarised as below:

* Tiscali's modem fails just before Christmas.
* Tiscali say they haven't got any replacement modems but "should be getting a few more before Christmas".
* Christmas rolls around. No new modem. I buy one cheaply off ebay, and that breaks after a week as well.
* It's January - Tiscali say we should receive a new modem "in a couple of weeks". A couple of weeks later, they say "erm, maybe by the end of February". We cancel our subscription, and demand a refund. "Maybe" isn't good enough, and by now they've proven themselves not to be trustworthy. They promise us the refund, then carry on sending us bills anyway (although we've cancelled the direct debit at the bank, so they can whistle out of their arses for the money for all I care).
* We try to subscribe to Virgin. Virgin are confused - apparently somebody else lives at our address and is already subscribing. They say they'll need to send somebody to our house to "see what's going on". They never get back to us with a visit date, despite our protestations that we've checked in the cupboards and the wardrobes, and nobody is living in our apartment in secret and using the Internet from it.
* We try BT as a last resort. They misdirect our modem package once, then forget to send it out and leave it in the depot after that. But...
* Hurrah, it finally arrived today!

I'm going to see if I can get online at home later on, and actually send stuff off to publishers (many of whom only take e-submissions these days) and not completely miss the endless email circulars people are in the habit of sending about their social habits. Don't bank on us being set up properly though, because I know damn well I won't be.

In some respects, the lack of Internet at home has been a good thing. It's made me wary of some of my bad habits, which include checking the email every hour or so (which is really completely unnecessary) and doing semi-bored searches on Wikipedia when I could just as easily be reading a book. I'm going to try to curb some of my more ridiculous habits and reprogram my brain not to fanny around online so much. The bonus of it all is, of course, that I shall be much more easy to contact now, provided everything's in order.

When I Feel That My Friends Are Conspiring Against Me, I Go On To Their LJs, and Leave Comments...

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 13:05:26 GMT

I returned to the ULU last night for the first time since I tried to host an ill-fated gig night there. Nothing's changed there in the last two and half years - though I'm not too sure what I was expecting.

Happily, this time I was there to see Art Brut live, which is always a treat. On this occasion, their support band were rather more baffling, however. I Human in terms of appearance seemed like a perplexing supergroup, an amalgamation of different members of different bands from conflicting genres. Up front, a long haired lead singer who looked like Chris Morris doing an impression of Jim Kerr out of Simple Minds rocked out. Next to him stood a gurning, attention seeking bass player flicking his fringe and making pouting mirror faces to the audience. Further back, a slightly fey looking female keyboard player smiled away, looking like she'd lost her way to the rehearsals of a slightly more twee band. Musically too, they were utterly confusing, attempting modern commerical alternative rock styled covers of "Horse With No Name" (which I never want to hear again, incidentally, restyled or otherwise) and screeching and shouting just when you thought they'd settled into a New Order cloned pattern of things.

For all the internal contradictions, there was nothing jarring or disturbing about them, and possibly nothing of any major value either. When a band introduce so many distractions into the grand scheme of things, it's hard to focus enough to give a valuable judgement. As a music journo, I would obviously have some tapes, vinyl or CDs to also base my judgement on. As a blogger, I'm stuck with the live show alone, and frankly I'm stumped. The only observation I can make is that I sense a psychological conflict within the outfit - the bass player was edging dangerously close to the mic stand at times. My expert opinion here based upon band body language is that either the bass player will be the lead singer of the band in three months time, or the lead singer will have kicked him out. Trust me, I know these things. I'd advise them both to proceed with caution.

I've written about Art Brut before, of course, but there's no harm in doing so again - in fact, unlike many bands, I've been coming to the conclusion that they are worthy of much further analysis than the usual "What a great laugh they are!" descriptions that get tossed off. We're at a point in rock history now where falling back upon ancient, almost 1950s cliches seems not to be criticised as much as it once was, and the stagnation that has resulted has been inevitable. Posturing, preening, and taking one's self far too seriously as the most conservative kind of rebel has been the accepted norm even at the lowest end of the pub circuit, and whenever somebody like Pete Doherty has come along to try and play with the accepted cliches and twist them slightly, they've just been sucked back into the vortex with everyone else. Rock has become inflexible, corporate, and now even taught in special colleges up and down Britain. Who would have thought it, eh?

If Pete Doherty exists at one end of the spectrum, then - a serious figure trying to see what mileage he can get out of the cliches, and how much he can flex and warp them - Eddie Argos is at the opposite end, simplifying, mocking and deconstructing. Due to this, it's easy to dismiss Art Brut casually with the word "novelty", but there's much more going on than that. The debut single "Formed a Band" could be viewed as a casual flippant joke, or a slightly subversive piece of nastiness. Shouting "Look at us! We formed a band!" as the chorus to any track is reductive and mocking, which is the reason it's so amusing in the first place. After all, anyone can form a band and be glorified within their drinking circles or school playground - but it's not actually a particularly difficult thing to do. The hard part is approaching it with any sense of originality, of not adding to the volumes of cloning garbage that litter the Record and Tape Exchange, or not ending up seeing out your middle age on retro revival tours.

Then there's the subject matter running throughout their other tracks. Where others sing about love, Eddie Argos sings about erectile dysfunction. I try to remember the last track I heard about this topic, and believe it was probably Elastica's "Stutter", where Justine Frischmann played the purring pussy cat egging her lover on to 'get it up', as it were. So, she was playing the rock and roll vixen whilst her lover was hopeless - the accepted hedonistic thing to write about. Eddie Argos, on the other hand, is the man with the limp penis singing about it in depth, and even recounting when and where it happened, and with who. Rock stars do not sing about how crap they've been in bed. This is against the rules. Especially in the present scene where every skinny white male secretly wishes to be as sexy as Puff Diddy, whether they admit it or otherwise.

The last time I saw them live, Eddie Argos ranted at the audience (between hiccups of laughter) about how pathetic they were for living their lives through bands and musicians. "Don't listen to bands!" he roared. "They're stupid! They're just showing off! They can't help you with anything!" He didn't do it again last night, which I thought was a shame - it seemed to encapsulate the appeal of Art Brut very well. They're an extremely entertaining and very visual live band who have effectively, possibly even accidentally, subverted a lot of the notions of what it means to be in a band, turning the norms on their head. They may not be the future of music, and I'll actually be surprised if the limited template they've set for themselves means they even manage to spit out another album, but somewhere within the silliness and the buffoonery there are slight flickers of where rock lyrics might go if the form is to survive to the end of the century keeping everyone interested. This is as far from the Brit school as things get, almost as if they've found the course guidance notes and decided to approach things in completely the opposite direction.

Oh, and they're extraordinarily entertaining as well, which obviously helps no end.

Two Swans in Front Of His Eyes

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 13:23:49 GMT

Saturday marked the return of the glorious Bingo Master's Breakout evening in Ilford - Britain's premiere live poetry/ bingo/ karaoke night. To be honest, I doubt it has many competitors for that particular title, although it's always been a slight fear of mine that somebody's going to steal the central idea and run with it in a more accessible location. Mind you, that's possibly a slightly illogical worry.

What's fantastic about Bingo Master's Breakout isn't just the varied song list their resident Karaoke man Chris offers - although that's a huge help, where else could you sing X Ray Spex, Doctor Feelgood, Divine Comedy and Menswear songs? - or the free price of entry, but the fact that it acts as a superb device to get poets to take themselves a tiny bit less seriously. Most poets, you'll be unsurprised to learn, really can't sing. Nor can they "rock out" very well. There's something endearing and warming about seeing otherwise very competent performers struggle and fail to dance and hit high notes in a drunken fashion, and it humanises the entire circuit. It's a shame none of the "big names" have turned up to the night yet - it would do some of them the world of good to be a bit below average at something for once. I for one would like to see John Hegley doing a version of Abba's "Fernando".

For my own part, I select Landscape's "Einstein a Go Go" in a cowardly fashion. Since this track requires one to simply sound like a irritated dalek from Essex, I figure it won't take much of my ability to do a competent job of it, and indeed, I do find that the song doesn't stetch me much. Also, as a small child it was one of my favourite records ever, and I played it to death on the family stereo. I even asked for Landscape's album for Christmas, but nobody humoured me with a copy. I have since stumbled upon a copy in a second hand store, and feel relieved that nobody bothered, as most of it is pseudo-arty electronic doodling which would have ruined my childhood Yuletide experience. There's a time and a place for electronic Tango numbers, and that's on the demonstration mode of a Casio keyboard, not an early eighties pop album.

Landscape have since become my enemies for another reason, in that I reckoned without the fact that hardly anyone in the entire room had ever heard of either "Einstein a Go Go" or them, meaning the first half of the track was taken up by the audience looking at each other in a confused fashion, uttering "What is he trying to do here? Is he supposed to be singing like that?" This is the third BMB I've attended where most of the room have been unaware of my selection, so I'm just going to have to try something more obvious next time. All suggestions welcome.

Beyond my dodgy renditions of early eighties pop hits, of course, you got Paul Birtill doing another fantastic (and extremely well-received) reading, and Mikey Solo out of David Devant and His Spirit Wife doing a wonderful (and very starrish and hyperactive) karaoke styled set of his own indie hits, making this probably the best night out I've had in some time. To cap it all off, I even won the bingo...

Save the George Tavern

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 13:13:54 GMT

*Sigh*... Another month, another petition to save a unique East End venue... why do I get the feeling that the rest of 2008 is going to progress in a similar vein, right up until the Olympics in 2012?

Anyway, to fully explain, Tower Hamlets council have approved the building of a block of flats adjoining the George Tavern in Stepney/ Shadwell. I've performed at and written about the George Tavern at many points throughout the last year or so, and can confirm that if the building work goes ahead, and the entertainment licence of the venue gets subsequently stripped, London will be losing one of its most important and risk-taking venues. The area its based in is also bereft of any other entertainment and sorely needs something of the George's nature to pump some life back into it. Once again, this is an example of an East End council really not looking at the larger picture, and thinking only of the East End of London as some sort of dormitory suburb in the future rather than an historical part of one of the world's most exciting cities.

So far, Amy Winehouse and Kate Moss have joined the campaign, but I think we can do better than that... Please click on "read more" to see the campaign letter and advice as written by the landlady.

Benson Olaseni
Planning
Tower Hamlets
Mulberry Place
PO Box 55739
5 Clove Crescent
LONDON
E14 1BY

or planning@towerhamlets.gov.uk

YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS....

DATE....

Dear Benson Olaseni,

Objection to the following planning applications:

PA/07/3286- Planning Application,
PA/07/3287- Conservation Area Consent.
PA/07/3288 - Listed Building Consent.

I am writing in objection to Swan Housings planning application, listed building consent and conservation area consent applications.

I believe that residential development attached or next to The George Tavern would put its licenses at risk. I know of the work The George does and how valuable it is for the artists, musicians and performers it supports and for the local and wider community that benefits from such a rich cultural venue.

The George Tavern is a listed building with a history dating back to 1654, and possibly before, any new development should not be considered until its worth as a compliment to The George is proved. No new building should dominate the iconic structure or restrict the wonderful light which many filmmakers and photographers (established and new) have found inspiring.

The building, its facilities and venue licenses offer a lot to Tower Hamlets, increasing revenue in local businesses by bringing film crews, performers and large audiences in, by giving a platform to local organisations/charities and providing affordable venue space and opportunities for new exciting work -- no other venue is providing this. Please protect it.

Please confirm you have registered my objection.

Kind Regards

YOUR NAME......

SOME USEFUL INFO YOU MAY WANT TO USE

- The George Tavern has received, so far, NO public funding. We are applying.
- Last year (2007) The George Tavern provided approx 3,900 artists, musicians, performers, filmmakers and theater makers the opportunity to show their work.
- Last year (2007) The George Tavern welcomed in a combined audience of approx 35,360 local people and people from the wider community.
- There are approx 10,000 artists, performers and musicians in Central East London. All of whom need places to meet and a platform to show work -- the few places there are should be protected.

I really hope I don't have to post another one of these up again for something else in a few weeks time.

Perrier Unrigged

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:59:36 GMT

I went along to Poetry Unplugged again last night. You're probably sick and tired of reading that sentence on here by now, and to be honest I feel equally sick of typing it. As a friend pointed out recently, a major hole in the present poetry circuit is the lack of open mic nights in London. Sure, there are nights where open slots are available, but these are limited. Additionally, I am aware that there are numerous slams out there, but these can be tremendously competitive, high paced and altogether unsuitable for certain kinds of poet, especially insecure ones just finding their feet. Many years ago, some poetry nights had a policy of holding an open mic once a fortnight, alternating with a proper full-length gig night. Others were even open mics but created a "party" or theme night from the occasion (Walking The Dog, for example). Now the choice is noticeably reduced, and whilst the circuit needs "proper" promoters and nights, it also needs a healthy volume of open mics to nurture new talent. If anyone is feeling particulary charitable, I'd say the time is right for another night of this nature, and people might be surprised by its subsequent popularity if it's handled well.

Not that there's anything wrong with Poetry Unplugged, of course, which does a perfectly fine job, but on some nights seems over-subscribed. Last night was comfortable enough, featuring a lot of fresh new faces, many of whom seemed incredibly young and looked suspiciously as if they'd arrived en masse from a local art college. It's happened before, there's no reason why it wouldn't have happened again.

My own slot came towards the end of the second half by which time I was worn out and tired after a difficult day at work, and perhaps my lack of enthusiasm showed. I received one "poetry heckle". I've referred to these on this blog before, but for those of you who can't remember what this is, I'll remind you. It consists of somebody in the audience (sometimes identifiable, sometimes not) uttering their disapproval at a volume which the performer will clearly be able to hear in the intimate environment, and will usually be supposed to hear, but cannot be properly classified as a proper, full volume attack, and therefore lets the disapproving party off the hook. Different to the cries of "FUCK OFF, YOU'RE SHIT!" that one might expect at the Comedy Store, Poetry Heckles normally consist of utterances like "Oh, for God's sake...", "Just unbelievable, really", or sometimes puffs, sighs and expressions of discontent following a line or introduction. Last night I got an "Oh, for God's sake", although I didn't manage to pinpoint where it came from.

Of course, this shouldn't bother me, and doesn't put me off my stride (unless I can identify the person, in which case I may well reply to them) but it does irritate me. Besides being a bit aggravatingly weedy, and impoliteness dressed up as politeness, these utterances are the equivalent of sniping anonymous comments on blogs - designed to criticise without the critic actually being brave enough to approach the reader afterwards, and designed to highlight imperfections to the rest of the room without the commenter putting themselves in the firing line or taking any possible flak for their disapproval. Like the paranoid voices some people hear in their heads, these noises occur from the dark now and then at poetry events. The main difference between Comedy events and poetry events (well, at least one difference out of many) is that most people in the audience at the poetry events are aspiring writers themselves, and therefore don't want to risk aggravating anyone who may be in a position to give them work or point them in the direction of other useful contacts. Still though, they do sometimes feel as if their voices must be heard somehow.

The other issue with Poetry Heckles, of course, is that challenging them does make you seem like an irate teacher, urging the protagonist to "share the joke with the rest of the class". I've witnessed John Hegley doing this a couple of times, and whilst it's amusing, it does create a slightly sour and awkward atmosphere for a short time afterwards. Best to just leave them be, the grumbling sods.